Burn out is real, and it's not a sign of weakness ~Sevan

Social media is a powerful tool for the social justice advocate. Trans people can connect with one another, share issues, band together and get things done. For some of us, maybe even all of us (whether we recognize it or not) it becomes a horrible space where the work never ends, and friends, fun, family and social justice work all blend together. 

It sends the message that you should never stop working. This is a dangerous message. People need to be able to have safe places to relax and recharge. Often wonderful wise people face burn out and the movement loses those people, all their skills, knowledge and cooperation. We have to rebuild, train, connect and build new relationships. We constantly start over, but push and push for people work, attend events, research, read every article that gets shared by every single friend who shares all your same beliefs and advocates along side you.

An example. I created a Twitter account to follow musicians that I liked. The whole purpose was fun and relaxation. Twitter told all my Facebook friends that I had created a Twitter. Of course they wanted to add me, they *are* my friends, so I wanted to add them too! Quickly my twitter feed was so covered in angry trans issues, fights and encouragement to help remove trolls from Twitter to the point that I no longer go to Twitter at all. That is not to say that this issues that I was presented with on Twitter weren't important, but one only has so much time and so much energy.

We need to protect ourselves but also support others in our community. If we encourage one another to take care of themselves, our community becomes stronger and healthier. My request to those trans advocates is to consider who you're going to reach. Who reads you? Do they likely follow the same pages you follow? If so, they've probably already seen the article you're considering sharing. Not only can this be frustrating but depending on what the information is, it can be triggering and painful.

I know for myself, seeing article after article about trans people who have committed suicide hurts me deeply. I am experiencing secondary trauma, and I am not alone.

Here are some things that you can do to help build up the community, but still participate in sharing important information.

#1 Use trigger warnings, and consider not including the preview image. Pictures are bigger than words, so often a trigger image of a person who's passed away, or a person who appears grief stricken can be the first thing someone sees even if you use trigger warnings.

#2 Share your thoughts about the article, and then link the article in a comment, rather than in the body of your status or post.

#3 Pay attention when someone says they're down or struggling. Ask how you can help. Share things with them that helps you cope. Often times, people don't realize the level of stress they're under. We've gotten very good at ignoring our internal signals. Good friends can remind us to check in with that internal signal.

#4 Learn more about self care and what makes you tick. Share articles and images that lift your community up, in equal part to negative articles that are intended as a call to action.

#5 If you've seen an article more than two times, chances are, your friends have seen it too. Consider not sharing it.

Queer Youth Spaces Need Our Support

When you were a young person how would you have felt if you knew there was a place that spoke directly to your identity and the issues surrounding them? A place where adults mentored youth just like you and there was no cost for you would have been a god send wouldn’t it?

There is such a place in Spokane, Washington for LGBT youth and their allies. It is the Odyssey Youth Center which from here on will be referred to as OYC.

I used to volunteer at the center for a short time. When I was there and got to see the daily operations of OYC I saw a place of refuge. I saw a place of safety. I saw a place where youth are sure to have access to a good meal. I saw a place where youth had access to free clothing. I saw a place that was teaching leadership skills to young adults. I saw a place teaching life skills to young adults. At OYC I saw a place where young adult LGBT individuals were becoming better people. I saw that OYC is a refuge in a world that is all too often cruel to those who are different than the hetronormative society.

Let me tell you the story of one young adult who I met while I was there in the capacity of youth mentor. I will call her Mambles for this story. As Mambles is not a real name for anyone, I am pretty sure you know now that I am not outing her. Also I will alter a portion or two of this story for expediency and confidentiality.
When Mambles came into the center she was there because she had heard that kids like her were safe at OYC and there was free food. She actually looked like a fabulous young gay man when I first met her as she is a transgender girl who was pretransition. Well she noticed me right off the bat. I am a late in life transsexual woman and it is pretty obvious that I am TS with an educated glance.
Well shortly into her being there she revealed that she was not really a fabulous gay boy. Rather she was a transsexual woman and she needed to transition but due to living situation, she could not let that information out yet.

Well my first thought was this girl needs a shave, make up and some new clothes. She needs a support group and online resources, and a gender therapist…. Yes, my mind was already whirling with what I could do to help her.

But I also know not to overwhelm a person in the early stages of a transition.
The first thing I said to her was “Well you know we have a clothing closet full of cute girls clothes. I am sure we have something that will fit you.”

Mambles eyes lit up and I could tell that she wanted to dress up and she confirmed it immediately. “I can wear girl clothes here?”

“Yes you can. At OYC we respect all people of all gender identities. If you want to change clothes here we will all be cool with that.”

So we went to the closet and on the way I introduced her to one of the other youth. The two of them started talking and after I pointed out the closet I walked away to let the youth chat while Mambles found new wardrobe choices.

Well soon enough Mambles came and found me and she was beaming and a hot mess. Of course she was, you should have seen some of my early wardrobe choices…

Anyway:

Mambles was happy. We started chit chatting a bit and I eventually worked around to the topic of her beard…(Now I have no issues with a beard on a man or a genderqueer, but on a TS woman it just does not look right.)

“If you want I can go get some of the razors for you.” OYC really didn’t have any razors at the time, but I keep a box of brand new quality disposable razors in the car, because well you know…I am TS and self conscious like that.

Immediately without hesitation “YES I would like to shave.”

I told her to wait there and I would be right back. As I came back and handed her some razors one of the youth was telling her about the makeup available. Nothing expensive as OYC has limited funds and the eye makeup she used became hers as we do not share eye makeup. Soon enough Mambles was shaved, made up and cute, with a stash of some make up items set aside.

Well during this time period food was being prepared by someone, I cannot remember who. The point being that a meal was and is served every evening that OYC is open.

After a meal there was a program of some sort. Maybe it was on safer sex, or maybe it was a leadership exercise, or perhaps it was LGBT movie night. I really cannot remember, but the point being is that every night OYC has some form of programming for the youth.

After program time, Mambles had to change back to male clothes and wash the makeup off. I felt for her, I have been in that place myself and it sucks. But it is part of the crucible TS women go through and Mambles was not going to be able to avoid it.

I saw Mambles a few times over a period of a month. She seemed to become a bit less war worn and a little more like a normal teen. The safe environment seemed to take some of the harder edges off of her. By the end of the month it was decided that it was not proper for me to work at OYC as my spouse is the person at OYC who is in charge of the volunteers and youth mentors.

I miss doing volunteer work as a youth mentor at OYC; but I do understand the reasons my spouses supervisor put forward as to why I cannot volunteer at OYC.

I did get to see Mambles after my OYC stint one day though. I was in the city park just walking through and Mambles had spotted me in the crowd. She came running up to me to chat for a minute. She was dressed as a boy as she does not have the safe home environment to go full time yet. She had a smile on her face but not the best of stories to tell. Life is not easy on LGBT youth. But she was upbeat and looked healthier than last time I saw her.

I cannot say what has become of Mambles as I have not seen her in long time and it is not appropriate for me to ask Sevan as Sevan must maintain confidentiality with the youth’s information. I like to think that the opportunities provided at OYC have in some way enriched her life.

Imagine if you could have had that type of experience as a young TS woman. A place to safely and openly express yourself as a woman, even if for a short afternoon would have been wonderful wouldn’t it? I know that it would have been a god send for me in my youth had I had the chance. There was a bit of a vicarious moment or two as I watched this young woman basically start her transition in OYC.

All year long LGBT youth have empowering experiences at OYC.
Young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth of Spokane have a place of refuge and kinship. That place of refuge has been running in some capacity for over 20 years. I have heard in the early days there was no sign out front. You could only get in if you knew the password and you went in the back door, and that was after you had called the phone number only vetted people could have.
Those days being an LGBT youth in Spokane was much more dangerous and such measures were a result of the times.

Now OYC sits on Perry Street with a proud and loud sign out front. Youth enter through the front door and are not as stigmatized for being queer. They have a safe place to socialize with other LGBT youth. It is a place where our youth can learn leadership skills, cultural competency, safer sex and a place to get a hot meal.  
I think that the safety these youth experience today is because there was an OYC for the generation before them. Imagine what the OYC is going to be like in the future?

So now to the pitch:
Please take the chance to invest in the future of the youth of Spokane and donate to OYC. You will notice that the side of the page has a ‘donate now’ button. The money goes directly to the bank account of OYC. Not a penny of that money goes through my hands. I am just being nice and putting their donation button on my blog page. OYC is funded through grants and generous donations by people like you.
OYC is a 501c3 organization.

Now if you are not flush with cash, please do not feel the need to donate. It can be difficult on the wallet being an LGBT citizen; I am asking the well off of us who do give money to these types of causes to consider giving some of your philanthropy money to OYC.

And if you didn’t catch it in the above wall of text:
Full Disclosure: My Spouse is an Employee of OYC.

TLDR:
A sappy emotional plea for the reader to donate money to the Odyssey Youth Center.

Spokane PRIDE 2014

This year’s PRIDE was a nice event. It was not as big as I anticipated but if I had taken a moment to think on it I shouldn’t have been surprised.
Now that we have Marriage equality in Washington State and the right to serve for LGB people the need to stand and fight for many is no longer an imperative. These PRIDE events bring more than the old guard and the revelers in all things queer; they bring out the social justice warriors and advocates. But if there is nothing to fight for, the advocates and warriors don’t show up. Their friends who would have joined them do not show up as a result.
I also noticed that the event itself had fewer booths, (This is untrue, it was merely my perception of the event) but an improved kid zone over prior years. And to whoever was in charge of that kid space…It was really cool. I watched the children play on the numerous things brought in for them and was a tad jealous and longed to be 5 again, just to go into the bouncy castle for a few minutes and act the fool with the rest of the kids.

There was a Colors Guard at the parade. Apparently this is only the third time the military has allowed an honor guard. When I saw the boys getting into formation at the head of our parade and it dawned on me that these men were not costumed Color Guards or High School ROTC kids but the real deal, I almost cried. It means allot to those of us who are LGBT and prior service to see the colors at the head of a parade formation. I had a feeling only a fellow soldier or veteran could feel when I saw them in the parade.

Then there were 3 horses in the parade that looked pretty neat with rainbow socks.

There was a contingent of Angels blocking out the haters. Again I almost cried when I saw them.

The addition of these seemingly small elements to the parade really touched it off and was icing on the cake so to speak.

At the event after the parade only a couple of people in the local queer culture snubbed me. A few gay men made it a point to give me some props on my stand and being vocal on the state of current LGBT politics. One gay man even made a statement on stage taking issue with the disrespect TS women were getting via the Tranny debate.

Over all, the event was a good one. In spite of being rained on during set up and an overcast day most the day we managed to have a good time, listen to good music and watch the antics of the local burlesque show and drag performers.

I want to thank the people of OutSpokane who put it all together and the various social justice organizations who came to represent, and even the vendors who came to sell us stuff.

See you at Spokane PRIDE 2015!!!

 

 

Feelings of Pride ~Sevan

This may be a little wandering...but I do hope you'll stick with me. I really want to get this down.

As a young queer, around the age of 20 I went to see a production of Laramie Project. If you haven't seen this show, it's about Matthew Shepard's life and death. At the end of the show is his funeral, and the angles and their huge wings are present at the funeral to make it so that the family of Matthew don't have to see the protesters who have shown up. This is the first time we see the angels, and the people who did that made a huge impact.

On the day that I went to see the show, life was....well, it wasn't good. So the show is forever etched into my memory intertwined with my personal horrible horrible day.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I saw protesters at PRIDE. Eh. No big deal. They didn't bother me. I rolled my eyes. Annoyed, frustrated by their presence...but eh.

Last year was my first year attending Pride within the role of youth worker. I work at a youth center for LGBTQ youth, and of course we attend Pride and march! There were more protesters than I'd ever seen before and the feeling changed entirely. Suddenly, I cared. Many of the youth I worked with were attending Pride for the first time. They were there to have a good time and be themselves. They handled themselves very well but I was scarred. You see, these haters planted themselves very strategically. They were the end of the parade route. You turn a corner and head forward for a few blocks and the whole time...there they are. Screaming, waving HUGE signs, on megaphones....and just HATEFUL. The community responded and chanted so loudly that you couldn't hear the hate. Drag queens led the chants and the hair on my arms stood up. While I wished the hate would never have happened...I was proud of my community and how we handled ourselves.

Fast forward to this year. I heard that there would be an angel brigade between the parade and the haters. The haters got their earlier than we would have liked and started their hate spewing LOUDLY and ferociously. They screamed at the youth I work with, saying horrible things like calling them fa***t, telling them that they make God cry, etc etc. My heart....oh my heart. This is an event I INVITE the youth I work with to attend....so many of them are having their first experience with Pride. As always, they handled themselves well, didn't engage with the haters and let the hate just roll off. In order to get from our booth to the spot we were to line up for the parade we had to walk by two groups of protesters. I started to think that maybe the angels weren't going to come after all.

photo taken by Shar

We found our spot in the line up and waited for the parade to start. Then they came. The angles arrived.
I really wish I could fully express what it meant to me to see them. I don't know that I can, honestly. I teared up. I felt such relief. I felt a deep connection to something so personal and unique to the queer community. Our answer to protesters. Our way of doing things. From as far back as early 90's, this is what we've done.

While I was discouraged to still be able to see their signs as we marched, we couldn't see *them* nor could we hear them. The youth planned chants and were so loud they reverberated down the streets and BOOMED.

The rest of the day was lovely, filled with friends, acquaintances, smiles and fantastic performances. Thank you Spokane for being well behaved (except the haters...) friendly and putting on such a wonderful Pride.

Why am I calling for a split locally?

When Spokane Trans* People started it was a program of the LGBT center. There was no doubt about that. Unfortunately that information was not communicated properly by Matt it was claimed by those who said we were not. So basically I was called a liar and Matt’s promises to the group were not honored in his death.
When Matt passed away and a clarification was needed as to whether Spokane Trans* People was a LGBT center program or not, the center chose to distance itself from the group. In spite of the fact that we were and still are listed on their website as a program of the center. It wasn’t even going to cost the center a dime to say yes. It was just a matter of saving themselves of an uncomfortable situation that they disavowed the trans* group.

The center is ineffectual in the pursuit of it’s’ mission. The city of Spokane does not have an LGBT center. The city of Spokane Valley does, but this center is small, does not serve Spokane well at all and does not have proper phone, or computer services or a proper staff. Staff that are there are often unprofessional in demeanor and attire. When I would go to the center and it was obvious a man was living in the center counter to the city’s zoning regulations, it was very off putting. The center smelled of this man in every corner.
Now the center is not even accessible to the average Spokanite; out in Valley is not serving us. Maybe it serves Valley, but it isn’t doing much for Spokane. And it does nothing for Spokane Trans* People.

The leadership in the local center is stagnant. It would serve the community far better to dissolve the center and the people of the center to join other healthy queer organizations in the town.
Since Matt passed away the center as a leader in the community has been in a slow death rattle. The ball has been dropped a number of times. If it hadn’t then we wouldn’t have to go to Valley to have a center.
Focusing more on politics and relationships than getting business done isn’t helping us. Making constant excuses on how the followers have failed the leaders is ringing hollow.
If you folks are going to lead, then lead. This half assing I see isn’t sufficient.

I know this is going to anger some folks and I know that the center will not be closed but I do think it is time that the Transgender/Transsexual community stand on its’ own and request that the LGBT center change its name to the LGB center. They are not serving the transgender community. Spokane Trans* People does that and rather well. We do not need the LGB center doing our work.

We want to divorce the LGB.

A great document was once written that was the manifesto of freedom. If I had such a document in my pen to share with you I surely would do so. For the call to freedom and self determination is a noble calling and one all should strive to achieve.
Currently there is a toxic atmosphere in the halls of the LGBT. Gay men who have long held the reigns of power have recently en mass let transsexual women know just exactly what they think of us. We have been ridiculed and attacked numerous times over simple issues of respect. Where we have asked for the dignity to designate for ourselves what we find to denigrate us, we have been ridiculed, shamed and told to grow thicker skin. The problem is that most TS women I have known do not have thick skin enough to take betrayal. We can handle the slurs and bigotry of the outside world. We have been fighting it since the beginning of patriarchy. But to have ones supposed allies turn on you in the midst of battle is an untenable situation.
Now to be clear, I understand that there are many wonderful gay men who have our backs and have gone to bat for us. It is these far too few men who have been able to keep the alliance united up to this point.

But it isn’t enough. When we were recently attacked en mass by gay males over the RuPaul/Carmen affair there were very few gay male voices attempting to call their brothers to task over this horrendous treatment. If you do not have enough voices calling for respect for TS women and the voices of disunity are not drowned out, then your group is transphobic and there is no way that TS women are going to remain in the LGBT.

The rally for dissolution of association of the T from LGB needs to sound loud as a clarion call across the lands.
At PRIDE this year let it be known we are not a part of the LGBT anymore. Form local TS groups.  Form regional groups. Form national and international groups and fight for our rights as a group and not let us rely on the good will of others. This is not to say we should not accept the good will of others, just that we should not rely on them. It is long past time that we stand on our own two feet anyways.

Bisexual and Pansexual..same thing? ~Sevan

I've noticed an issue that seems to be coming up to a fever pitch lately...and it's an issue between two sexual identities. Bisexual

 and Pansexual.


What I'm hearing so far...the argument goes a little like this:

Pansexual: Since Bi means "two" it's binary, and not inclusive of trans* and other identities.

Bisexual: That's not true!!! How dare you tell us what our identity is! Bi can mean two..sure, but as in "same as, and different than...which includes everyone!

Pansexual: Dude...chill out. It's fine if you don't dig trans* people...every gender/sex isn't for everyone. It's fine. Don't sweat it.

Bisexual: Why are you being insistent on Bi-erasure!!!!

Ok so that's a SERIOUSLY over simplified version, and only from my perspective...and I'm pretty sure I'm missing some of the information since this whole disagreement really makes no sense to me at all. The way I'm seeing it is that many Bi people seem to feel/believe that Pansexual IS the same as Bi, and therefore, there's no need for the additional sexuality.

Also, bi-erasure is in there somewhere...and trans* politics being put above bi politics is also in there somehow.

Now that it's all clear as mud...you're on the same page as me.

As a trans* person, let me tell you about some of the relationship types I've seen. I've met a couple who was straight. One was pre-everything trans woman, and a cis man. His sexual identity never changed to encompass his trans wife, because she's a woman regardless of her body.

I know a few couples that are gay men that are with trans guys, and they felt no need to change their sexuality due to dating trans guys...because trans guys are GUYS.

As a genderqueer person, who's married to a trans*woman. I personally identify as pansexual. In LGBT spaces I often identify as Queer because it's easiest...I'm genderqueer, I'm pansexual, I'm polyamourous...I'm Queer!

If someone's identity is bisexual, and they feel they can and/or have been attracted to trans* people and feel their identity is bisexual. Awesome. That's great for them. I would never presume to tell someone what their identity is.

To me, looking at a word in a literal manner...bi means two=binary man/woman system. That's what it means to me which is why I don't feel it fits me. If it doesn't mean that to you, that's ok. We don't have to use just one word at a time to understand each other. We can, in fact...have whole conversations with many words in order to get our point across and see eye to eye.

Once again I'm so happy for the community I'm a part of. The organizations I interact with actively seek out participation who are gay, lesbian, bi, and trans*. All are equal and important. I don't understand why it seems to be this way elsewhere, or at the very least...just that some seem to feel it to be this way. We really really can get alone and work together for better visibility. Honest.

Facilitating ~Sevan

Let me first say...that I'm in no way posting this because this is the *only* way to do things. Some of these ideas are just things that are working for me as a facilitator...and I want to shed light on some of the "background" things that are involved for me, as a facilitator.

The first, and I think most important...is to cultivate relationships with the people you facilitate. Get to know what they like, what they're about. The larger the group...the more difficult this really becomes. However...one can always try.

Our local group has a facebook group that's attached, and I always make sure to "friend" everyone that's part of our facebook group so that I can see what they post about, and get to know them better. If I haven't seen them for a while at the meetings; I'll message them on facebook, or email and just check in with them and see how they're doing.

When you know the people in your group that you're facilitating then you know their strengths (or can try to..) and play to those strengths to get them more involved. When they're involved they can feel like they have partial ownership of the group and contribute to the outcome.
Who knows tumblr really well? Who enjoys photography and can create pictures of events? Who's good with Html and can help with any web presence? Who's warm and inviting and can act as greeters at meetings?

One thing that I try to do...and it may seem very small but I think it's important...and that's to show your own humanity. I never pretend to be perfect. I never even try. If I feel like I'm being put up on a pedestal...I try to take that with grace, but remind them all that I'm human. I fail. Plenty. I think that's important because if you're up high on a pedestal...it's a long hard fall when you do fall...and you will...because that's being human!!

Networking is very important. Getting to know other facilitators and leaders of other similar groups in your area is really important. As facilitator of a trans* group we've gotten to know the board of the LGBT center quite well, the board members of OutSpokane (the organization that puts on PRIDE, among other events) etc. We've also created relationships with other trans* groups around our state so that we know how they do things.

I've created a sign in sheet that includes birthdays. I make sure to remember when birthdays are coming up, and bring that to the attention of the group so that we can celebrate, or at least get a card and recognize their important day.

Look forward to events. Make sure to plan ahead with plenty of time. We started planning for our first Pride booth about four months ahead of time. That gave us time to create educational materials, posters, a banner etc without stress. It also gave us ample time to slowly accrue the cash for those things. Transitioning isn't cheap and I never want to add financial stress to group members (if I can help it..)
As not all trans* people are gay/lesbian/bi it's a good idea to look for events that aren't LGBT geared. There's a diversity celebration in Aug locally that we're planning on participating in.
We're also planning to invite other organizations to join with us in creating our own event for Transgender day of Remembrance. Our local community is supportive and accepting and welcoming them to help us create an event gives them the opportunity to show that support in a visible way. I think it will likely go very well. :)

I'm sure I'm missing a number of things but that's a good enough list for now.

Above all...be open, be present and be available to listen and encourage people to share. Giving people a chance to feel really heard is sadly rare...it's a gift.

Trans* flag ~Sevan

I know I mentioned how our trans* group had been working on a new flag to represent our community. Well we worked on it further and finally came to a solid conclusion for a design. I'd love to see it spread! So frequently I"ve heard complaints about the most well known trans* flag:


The complaint about that flag is the colors. They're "baby colors". I think the creator of the flag was trying to express that most trans* people were born in the wrong body. I can't know that...as I don't know the flag's creator. What I can do though, is make my own version of a trans* flag that might resonate with people more. I enlisted the help of my local trans* support/social group and we came up with this:


The top two stripes represent male (blue) to female (pink). The purple represents non-binary and genderqueer people (as the genderqueer flag colors are green, white and purple) the thin white stripe represents all people as well as the "line" trans* folks cross during their transition. Then the female (pink) to male (blue) along the bottom.

We've made a banner to march with for Pride and we've got small 5x7 flags that we'll wave as we march.


If you like this flag, if you feel that it represents you; then please share it widely! I'd love to see this flag gain ground and take off!!

2012 Rainbow awards ~Sevan

Every year Spokane holds the Rainbow awards. They're given out to an LGBT individual, an ally, a group, and the "over the rainbow award". (which I believe is akin to a life time achievement)

First there was a spaghetti dinner and we had so many people from the group show up that we had to steal seats and place settings from other tables. :) It was so wonderful to eat such a yummy dinner with my trans* family.
We moved from the dinner tables to the seating area to see the presentation of the awards. It came as a total surprise that those who were nominated also got certificates saying so! I was nominated for the individual award and especially after seeing who else was nominated I was so honored to be in such company. Here's me walking up to receive my certificate. I decided to go with a mens dress shirt and nice tie, paired with a long flowing skirt. One of my favorite :)

One of my friends was also nominated and got her certificate. Then it was the ally award. After that was the group award presentation. Once again, those who were nominated were really great groups and organizations that do AMAZING work locally. Hearing who was nominated it just stunned me that our little group won.


I went up and gave a speech telling the audience about our group, our achievements this year and how thankful I was (on behalf of the group) to receive such an honor. When I told the audience about how we'd grown from 3 people to 50 people in a matter of a year they all cheered and applauded! It was wonderful. :)


The "Over the Rainbow" award was handed out, and then they also recognized a wonderful volunteer who's really gone above and beyond the call.
After the awards were handed out, we stood around as a group and talked about how amazing it was to be recognized. I asked everyone what we wanted to do with the award. A few of my friends insisted that the award was for Cyndi and I. They recognized the work we do and that the award was for us. I was so touched!!
One of the women from the audience came up and congratulated us on the award. She also told me that she'd recommended *this* blog to her friend! I'm often amazed who reads this, or visits!!
A little while later I got a chance to chat with one of the LGBT therapists who used to lead a trans* support group. Cyndi and I had visited the group once but didn't really connect with the style. Nice people, just not a setting that suited me. Well as we caught up she told me that she didn't do her group anymore, and had been sending people our way. She also said that in all the time she's been coming to the Rainbow Awards...no trans* person or group had ever been honored. That we were the first. That she was so proud of what we're doing, and she trusts we're doing great. Wow. That was amazing to hear.
We left the awards smiling ear to ear. We took a few of our friends home so they didn't have to ride the bus. Conversation was good and more affirming about the work Cyndi and I do.

I literally fell asleep smiling.

Here's my certificate of recognition.


Here's our certificate of award for the Group. :) They even made sure to include the asterisk! :)


The award itself. So pretty! It's hanging at our house. I'm beyond happy and honored. Yea. Honored. That's the perfect word to describe how I'm feeling.

Cyndi and Sevan on the radio!

An hour video ended up fitting into five videos. Please excuse the crude edit job...I've never made videos before and we all talked so fast in the radio show there was nearly no breaks or pauses that would fit into editing nicely! Anyway. Here's the first video:

The second video:

Third:

Fourth:

And the final video:

Spokane Trans* People documents ~Sevan

Hey all!
So I'm the facilitator of my local trans* support/social group. I think I've mentioned that a time or four. ;) So in prep for Pride we've been creating many documents for us to share, as well as our own version of the Trans* flag! I'd love to see our hard work shared and used to educate and bring people together.

Here is a PDF brochure that's aimed at educating allies.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to MtF identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to FtM identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to Genderqueer/Non-binary identities.
Here is a PDF hand out that's a glossary of terms for transgender concepts.

Last but most certainly not least...here's our version of the trans* flag.

From top to bottom the colors represent MtF (Blue, to pink) Non binary identities represented by the purple and white stripe, and FtM (pink to blue)

It gets better; with work

Our support group has a Youtube channel and today at the meeting we did "It gets better" videos in addition to our normal meeting activities. If you would like to see them, our channel is here

Date with a straight.

Tonight OutSpokane is putting on its 3rd annual Date with a Straight. The idea is to auction off 12 volunteers for a valentines ball being held on Saturday the 11th. The proceeds will go to OutSpokane's efforts to put on the Pride parade and continue their mission of education.

http://www.outspokane.org/


http://www.outspokane.org/straight_date.html

Sevan will be one of those auctioned off for charity. I hope to win the date with Sevan but if I do not it is OK. It is for a good cause!

So if you are in the Spokane area stop by Irv's tonight, have a few drinks and pitch a few bucks to the Pride cause!!!

hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

Choice and rights

One of the things the bigots like to throw at us is that they think we made a choice to be LGBT. The argument is that we LGBT should tow the line and not be different than the 'norm'.
This is basically the bible beating crowd saying 'my beliefs trump your right to freedom'.

Since when?
Oh yeah since forever...

Well guess what?
I will never again give ground on this. If I choose to be LGBT or if it is an innate part of my makeup is of no consequence at all. The real issue at hand is a group of religious individuals seem to think that their religion has the right to make the laws that we all must live by.
I say phooey!
That is theocracy and I refuse to bow to your god.

Politics and sex.

Yesterday I sent an email to John D. Ragan State Representative of TN, taking him to task over his recent homophobic statements.

His office responded and here is his reponse:


"Dear Cynthia,
... I find it amazing that those who demand tolerance from others are so intolerant toward others.
A person is a heterosexual because of the presence of genitalia of one sex or the other. No one except a very few with an exceedingly rare congenital deformity have both kinds of genitalia.
The term, "sexual orientation" is based entirely upon "feelings" according to the American Psychological Association definition. I went to great lengths with multiple examples and illustrations to point out that "feelings" do not "control" behavior. I also went to similar lengths to point out that descriptors based upon behavior do not apply to those who may "feel," be "oriented," a certain way but do not engage the behavior of the applicable descriptor.
Given that everyone born without the previously mentioned birth defect is heterosexual, the defining characteristic of homosexuality (not sexual orientation) is behavior. Behavior is a choice, as I am sure you agree. Therefore, one chooses to engage in homosexual behavior or not. if one chooses not to engage in homosexual behavior, then the descriptor of that behavior is not applicable regardless how that person may "feel" or be "oriented."
I trust this exposition has clarified the issue for you.

Regards,
John D. Ragan
State Representative"
 
 
I do not think that this is a cogent argument to discriminate against LGBT folks.
 
Cynthia Nixon just made a big kerfuffle when she said that for her being gay is a choice.
Pissed allot of people off.
But I understand where she is comeing from.
 
I can choose to be sexually active with men or women. For the vast majority of my lesbian and gay peers it is not a choice.
But what if it was? What if every single gay person could control it and choose to be straight? Would it suddenly validate the bigots?
NO!
 
No one has a right to impose their religions standards of living on anouther person.
Basically put, your choice of religion does not trump my right to choose who I love, live with, make love too or even fuck. It is simple really. Remeber the entire freedom thing?
 
There is no valid argument against LGBT people that can be posited that does not rely on scripture. None. Nada. Zip.
 
The Bible has no place in the court room, it should likewise have no place in the legislature.

PRIDE

Yesterday we marched in Spokane's PRIDE march. Well I got wheeled around in my wheel chair by a friend and Sevan. (I am disabled and need a wheelchair whenever I will be forced to be out for a long time.)
I had fun and from what I could tell Sevan did also.
We marched with our local trans suport group. Spokane Transpeople.

For all the fun I had I do have one issue that I am surprised I have.
Every other time I have been to a festival and the PRIDE I went to in Pheonix had ALOT of vendors. Our PRIDE did have some vendors but there were not enough vendors around. We only spoted 3 food kiosk. The funny thing is when I went to Pheonix pride they had too many vendors! Seems I can't have a happy medium.

We didn't stick around to watch the awards ceremony or any of the stuff they planed. We just went around the park and had fun.

Anyways...
I think if you are LGBT and have the time and are willing to be public, you should make your way to your local PRIDE this year. The more of us that show up the more we demonstrate our combined economical power. Individualy we may have varying levels of resourses, but combined we are an entity that spends enough money to draw attention.