Americas Got Transphobia!

So if you have not seen this little slice of transphobia from Americas Got Talent {AGT} then take a look. However be warned that it is transphobic.
Now am I really upset with Ray Jessel?

No. Not really. I understand that he is an elderly man who probably has no true understanding of what he has done. If we lived in a world where transphobia was non existent I am sure I would have laughed right along with the world at this joke song. Ray wasn't vicious and he wasn't mean, he was just singing a funny song. He is a nice enough elderly man and I feel I can give him a pass over this faux pas.
However....{there is always a however it seems}
The song was transphobic and uncalled for in polite society. The judges, Howard Stern, Heidi Klume, Mel B and Howie Mandel, should have recognized that the song would be problematic for AGT and disqualified him. The producers and directors of AGT should have known that the trans* community would be upset and not aired this segment. There are hundreds of auditions that are not shown during the show which could have served as a better time filler.
Yet here we are again telling a major network to police themselves on the transphobia. Come on AGT people, I know that someone in the company should have known better. Listen to that voice next time! 

Spokane PRIDE 2014

This year’s PRIDE was a nice event. It was not as big as I anticipated but if I had taken a moment to think on it I shouldn’t have been surprised.
Now that we have Marriage equality in Washington State and the right to serve for LGB people the need to stand and fight for many is no longer an imperative. These PRIDE events bring more than the old guard and the revelers in all things queer; they bring out the social justice warriors and advocates. But if there is nothing to fight for, the advocates and warriors don’t show up. Their friends who would have joined them do not show up as a result.
I also noticed that the event itself had fewer booths, (This is untrue, it was merely my perception of the event) but an improved kid zone over prior years. And to whoever was in charge of that kid space…It was really cool. I watched the children play on the numerous things brought in for them and was a tad jealous and longed to be 5 again, just to go into the bouncy castle for a few minutes and act the fool with the rest of the kids.

There was a Colors Guard at the parade. Apparently this is only the third time the military has allowed an honor guard. When I saw the boys getting into formation at the head of our parade and it dawned on me that these men were not costumed Color Guards or High School ROTC kids but the real deal, I almost cried. It means allot to those of us who are LGBT and prior service to see the colors at the head of a parade formation. I had a feeling only a fellow soldier or veteran could feel when I saw them in the parade.

Then there were 3 horses in the parade that looked pretty neat with rainbow socks.

There was a contingent of Angels blocking out the haters. Again I almost cried when I saw them.

The addition of these seemingly small elements to the parade really touched it off and was icing on the cake so to speak.

At the event after the parade only a couple of people in the local queer culture snubbed me. A few gay men made it a point to give me some props on my stand and being vocal on the state of current LGBT politics. One gay man even made a statement on stage taking issue with the disrespect TS women were getting via the Tranny debate.

Over all, the event was a good one. In spite of being rained on during set up and an overcast day most the day we managed to have a good time, listen to good music and watch the antics of the local burlesque show and drag performers.

I want to thank the people of OutSpokane who put it all together and the various social justice organizations who came to represent, and even the vendors who came to sell us stuff.

See you at Spokane PRIDE 2015!!!

 

 

Feelings of Pride ~Sevan

This may be a little wandering...but I do hope you'll stick with me. I really want to get this down.

As a young queer, around the age of 20 I went to see a production of Laramie Project. If you haven't seen this show, it's about Matthew Shepard's life and death. At the end of the show is his funeral, and the angles and their huge wings are present at the funeral to make it so that the family of Matthew don't have to see the protesters who have shown up. This is the first time we see the angels, and the people who did that made a huge impact.

On the day that I went to see the show, life was....well, it wasn't good. So the show is forever etched into my memory intertwined with my personal horrible horrible day.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I saw protesters at PRIDE. Eh. No big deal. They didn't bother me. I rolled my eyes. Annoyed, frustrated by their presence...but eh.

Last year was my first year attending Pride within the role of youth worker. I work at a youth center for LGBTQ youth, and of course we attend Pride and march! There were more protesters than I'd ever seen before and the feeling changed entirely. Suddenly, I cared. Many of the youth I worked with were attending Pride for the first time. They were there to have a good time and be themselves. They handled themselves very well but I was scarred. You see, these haters planted themselves very strategically. They were the end of the parade route. You turn a corner and head forward for a few blocks and the whole time...there they are. Screaming, waving HUGE signs, on megaphones....and just HATEFUL. The community responded and chanted so loudly that you couldn't hear the hate. Drag queens led the chants and the hair on my arms stood up. While I wished the hate would never have happened...I was proud of my community and how we handled ourselves.

Fast forward to this year. I heard that there would be an angel brigade between the parade and the haters. The haters got their earlier than we would have liked and started their hate spewing LOUDLY and ferociously. They screamed at the youth I work with, saying horrible things like calling them fa***t, telling them that they make God cry, etc etc. My heart....oh my heart. This is an event I INVITE the youth I work with to attend....so many of them are having their first experience with Pride. As always, they handled themselves well, didn't engage with the haters and let the hate just roll off. In order to get from our booth to the spot we were to line up for the parade we had to walk by two groups of protesters. I started to think that maybe the angels weren't going to come after all.

photo taken by Shar

We found our spot in the line up and waited for the parade to start. Then they came. The angles arrived.
I really wish I could fully express what it meant to me to see them. I don't know that I can, honestly. I teared up. I felt such relief. I felt a deep connection to something so personal and unique to the queer community. Our answer to protesters. Our way of doing things. From as far back as early 90's, this is what we've done.

While I was discouraged to still be able to see their signs as we marched, we couldn't see *them* nor could we hear them. The youth planned chants and were so loud they reverberated down the streets and BOOMED.

The rest of the day was lovely, filled with friends, acquaintances, smiles and fantastic performances. Thank you Spokane for being well behaved (except the haters...) friendly and putting on such a wonderful Pride.

Is TERF a slur?

If you are not familiar with the term TERF, it stands for Trans* Exclusionary Rad Fem. If you are not familiar with the term Rad Fem, then you need to do some catching up and you should likely spend some time with a search engine of your choice. Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back.

Caught up now? Spiffy.

So there are members of the Rad Fems who are not very friendly to trans* women and some of them are not too easy on trans* men either. As a result of this treatment, a number of trans* folks have taken some exception to the way we are spoken of by these folks. As a way to make it easy to distinguish between the Rad Fems who accept trans* women in their midst and those who do not, the term TERF was coined. It is simply an anagram for trans* exclusionary Rad Fem. So it is a spot on designator. Now that the term TERF has made it into the vernacular of the queer populace, some of those who would be obvious candidates to be referred to as TERF have taken the public stance that it is a slur and not polite.

Well with my current stance on the RuPaul verses Carmen fiasco and general stance on slurs for trans* women perhaps I should stop using TERF. If I want currency in this conversation I must walk the talk eh? Well as these thoughts crossed my mind I was also almost listening to the TV that was droning on in the back ground on a news channel. I don’t know what story came up as I was deep in my thoughts but the word “terrorist” came through floating on the air at just the right moment. I do not think many terrorists would like being called that term, but it is what it is. Sometimes a term is spot on and ugly. Like TERF.

OMG!!! Did you just conflate TERF with terrorist? Probably a little. There are people in our society that hold ugly beliefs and cause hatred to increase and thus the chance at increased violence. >Racist, Bigot, Misogynist, Terrorist, Murder, Thief all these words are designator words that are useful in our vocabulary to denote an evil person in simple to use language we all understand.

It is my position that TERF is in this pile of words that we use to designate an evil person who holds dangerous, outdated and vicious views that stigmatize and threaten others.  Add this to the fact that it was coined as an anagram to designate Trans* Exclusionary Rad Fems it does not come to the level of slur. Now maybe if TERFs start being killed and beaten with TERF chanted at them as it is happening we can call it a slur. 

As it stands attempts to get this spot on word designated a slur is just an attempt to take currency in the conversation away from TS women. Which is just pathetic.

Stop with the transphobic slurs please.

Lately there has been a kerfuffle over transsexual women requesting that the word “Tranny” be removed from the name of an event in Australia. The event is called “Tranny Bingo” for those who do not already know.

Some folks are acting like this is a new thing but it isn’t. Transsexual women have been asking that this slur be removed from the polite lexicon and be relegated to the same heap that other slurs are placed. This word should not be used in any context in polite conversation. Personally I can see no use for the word except in one situation, porn; and only because it makes the search easy for the porn sellers and buyers. (I am not an unreasonable person.)

If you are sitting behind your keyboard taking it to town and want to search for some porn of your choosing then go ahead and shamefully type it into the search bar. Otherwise you should just not say it, type it or otherwise cause the word to be used in a polite conversation.

Why?

Because we asked you to do so as we see it as a slur for trans* woman. That should be enough. I shouldn’t have to debate you that this term is OK. It isn’t! If you are not a trans* person you have no currency in this conversation. None. Zero. Zip. NADA! So just stop using slurs. It is simple really.

Please don't shame me...I just want to talk.

We don't all learn the same way. I think that's clear. Everyone learns differently and certain methods of learning will go over some folk’s heads, while other methods would have a huge and potentially lasting impact. 

One of the ways people learn is through conversation and/or debate. This applies especially to social issues. People are exposed to ideas and concepts that they've never even thought about, thus...they're not likely to go and research, or read books about if they'd never even thought about it before. This is quite useful in social media. 

While the average person going about their life; in this case, let's say we're talking about the average trans* person; they should not be expected to answer questions about being trans*. (Though we all know plenty of people who ask plenty of questions; appropriate or not...) However, a person who considers themselves to be an advocate should be willing and/or able to answer questions or direct people towards resources. (Even advocates need time off for self care and fun.) 

When in a position to advocate and educate you will run into people who are ignorant to your views or experiences. Either by their own choice to be ignorant, or because they've not experienced the ideas or concepts before. 

It can sometimes feel like you're stuck on "101 level" for all of eternity. I know..but that doesn't mean that people don't need you. You might sometimes feel like shouting out "I'm not a book!! Go check out any of the many books/blogs/DVDs on the topic!!" Then again, if they knew of such resources I'd like to think they'd seek those out. (Brings us back o the beginning of this blog...everyone learns differently, and many learn through conversation) 

Many people meet new information that is different than currently held beliefs with aggression; be that verbal or physical. Learning new information that is at odds with existing beliefs or understanding is uncomfortable. Advocates and educators need to understand that this is normal human behavior. One never should accept violence against themselves, but a little understanding goes a long way. Being able to explain to the person where their discomfort stems from and normalizing the behavior may ease the experience and allow for a more healthy coping mechanism.

Knowing all of this…I've recently had two ideas that are somewhat contradictory; and I wanted to talk to someone about it in hopes that I might come to a better understanding. The specific issue isn't that important…What prompted this post was that perhaps I was ignorant to a concept, or didn't have full understanding. I learn via conversations, and understand concepts best through talking with people. Stands to reason that this is why that’s my preferred mode of educating/advocating.

When I sought out someone to talk to I was nervous about appearing ignorant, wanting to “fit in” and not be bothersome. I started to notice a trend…the community of people I was looking to talk to shamed people for being ignorant or disagreeing with them. Even to question their views would subject you to ridicule and name calling.

To ridicule someone for differing views is to encourage them to anchor into their view which we’re trying to change. You can’t SHAME people into agreeing with you. Pretty sure that’s not how that works. 

World AIDS day

Me.

And my love. And a few of my dear friends.

AIDS is not everything I am. It does not consume me, it is not *me* entirely, but it is part of this whole. There are many many times that I feel overwhelmed, sick and sad....

But then again...my life is also filled with hope, peace and much love. There is still so much stigma and misinformation surrounding AIDS/HIV. Please, educate yourself. Learn more, open your mind.... You don't know how I got it. You don't. You don't know what I've been through to get to this point of advocacy and hope. It touches anyone indescriminatly. If we cover our eyes and pretend we can't see AIDS...we miss out on some powerful opportunities.

Please...please don't put HIV in your bag of denial:

World AIDS day. What a thing to "celebrate". Please go get tested, and then read some about what AIDS REALLY is.

HIV+ women having HIV- babys

HIV stigma and women

No viral load=No transmittion!!

AIDS AIDS AIDS a poem

The end of AIDS: Hope for a cure!!

Please read any or all of these articles. None of them are written by me. All studies are by professionals. This is not a matter of opinion. This is fact now. Thank you for your time. Your own education is a blessing to me. I love that poem "AIDS AIDS AIDS". I met the author. She's amazing.

The thing I want to really discuss today...is something Bono said last night on the Daily Show while discussing his (amazing) work in the field of AIDS advocacy and fundraising. He said that circumsision in males would lead to lower infection rates in men.

When I heard him say that....my mouth hit the floor. I can't believe that someone as knowledable as him would say such a thing!! This is NOT TRUE. So many people watch the daily show, so many people are going to believe him because of who he is...and it's WRONG!!

A study was done (poorly...imo) in Africa back in 2006 (round about then..) and it "showed" that circumsision in men led to less infection. This has since been proven false. There was a slight protection in straight men, but none in gay or bisexual men. This...in Africa...where many still believe that if they have sex with a virgin (read: Rape a young girl!!) that they will be protected from ever contracting AIDS. This is dangerous and false information.

There are great strides being made toward a cure and I can't believe Bono would throw out information about circ instead of talking about gene therapy, or blood cleansing protocols that are coming out. (discussed in the "End of AIDS" article I linked to above) Ugh!! Pisses me off.

If anyone with better google-fu than me can find a (current, recent) article talking about the myth of this circ connection...please share it and I'll link it here. I couldn't find one in the few moments I had to do a search.

Above all...be careful with yourself. Respect yourself enough to demand safety. HIV is easily avoided. Condoms work. Don't touch blood. Have compassion for those who do have this disease. Here's to the end of AIDS. I hope I can see it in my lifetime and...I believe I will.

bathroom tactics

I have said this before a number of times but I think I shall say it again.

First I want to direct your attention the Zoe Brains recent blog entry.

http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2011/05/collect-set.html

If you didn't look it is about how the people who equate trans women to predator men keep recycling the same video of a man going into the women's room right after a little girl does. The old saw that gender variant people are no different than a pedophile keeps coming up time and time again.

Anyways....
I left a response to her post that I shall recycle here....

"The only way I can see defeating the bathroom bills is to show up to the public debates in large groups and use the bathrooms of our births. If a bunch of lawmakers, lobbyists and citizens are subjected to trans women in the men's room and trans men in the women's room they would become very uncomfortable. They have power to make that discomfort go away with laws. (see where this is going?)
If we take up the men's room with girl talk and female primping and communication while these males are there they will be much more likely to pass a law that makes this discomfort go away. The same with the women's room with trans men using the toilets like urinals and smelling up the place with testosterone smells, the female law makers and citizens will be seriously put out by this and will insist that their comfort be addressed.
They want to talk about men in the women's room? Demonstrate too them it doesn't work the way they want it too no matter what they do.
Only by changing tactics can we hope to win the bathroom war."

I do not mean just debates about gender protection laws or closed minded laws of exclusion. I am talking everywhere a congressman goes pee he should have a hoard of trans women using his toilets. Target his aides. Do it in large groups. Stay safe. If they want to portray us as a bathroom menace show them they are not thinking this through. If they wish to make it mandatory for trans women to use the men's room remind them it works both ways. Who really thinks the average man of transsexual history belongs in the ladies toilets? I don't think that a pack of FTM body builders would be truly welcome in a local city hall women's toilet. But by the bigots rules they would legally require it.

Make them think beyond the now. Beyond their narrow prejudice.

Word wars and the casualties that result.

Yesterday we had a girl at one of the forums I frequent almost delete her account and facebook.
What triggered this girl?

Seems she stumbled into a hotbed of vipers. Those who participate in the TS/TG word wars.
As one of these vipers who participate in the word wars I felt rather bad and immediately shot her off a private message expressing my sorrow and extending any apologies if it was something I had said.
Turns out it wasn't anything I did or said. It was others who had triggered her.

She is young and very recently out and at the beginning of her transition. She is just still figuring things out and where she fits into this world. Then she stumbles into arguments over gold star transsexuals and men in dress's.
Yeah not good.

I will admit that the factions I see are very polarized over things that we shouldn't be polarized over.

I said it before and i will say it again.
A basher will not differentiate between a gold star (passing privilege does not protect against being outed) or a cross dresser. He will beat you into a pulp if he can. He does not see a woman or a guy having a lark out and about town. He sees a pervert that needs to be made to pay. To the basher, anyone who transgresses what he sees as societies rules, is fair game. Fair game for whatever form of punishment the basher sees fit. Weather it be public ridicule or outright homicide, all of us who are different are fair game.


I understand that there are women who do not want to be equated to men in dress's. That is understandable. But we are equated to men in dress's in the eyes of those who hate us all.
It will take a long time to change society. Especially with so few numbers as we currently have.
Meanwhile we need to band together with as many people as possible. Those who are othered by society are our natural allies. The entire LGBT/T should be treated with difference and respect by anyone who fits into that group. We need each other. Regardless of the differences and personal issue we may have with each other we need each other to get this society to move forward. No one small sliver of society can get the job done on it's own.

Anyways....
If we can somehow band together and stop the infighting maybe we can avoid the casualties. Luckily this time around it was meerly a flesh wound and our young peer seems no worse for the wear. But what if she had deleted her accounts? Without the support group she has reached out too she very well could have detransitoned as a result. I am pretty sure we all know how dangerous detransition is. Detransition often equals death.

Transgender Borg!?

I have been called a member of the transgender borg. Apparently because I will not agree to the opinions of some others in the TS community.

Did you know there is a TS/TG bitch fest going on? Yep. Seems I have stumbled into a hornets nest of TS who hate the idea of men in the women's room. Well it isn't that simple. They are opposed to men in dresses [Cross Dressing Men] using the Lady's room. But who exactly are these men in dresses going to the potty? From what I can tell it is a small tiny percentage of the populace who are male cross dressers. Literally men who like to dress as women. Typically it is a heterosexual male out and about. Often with a wife or girlfriend. Granted the idea of this man in the ladies restroom is kinda odd.
Now if he is in the restroom what is he doing there? I would wager that in the vast majority of cases that he wants to piss in peace and not worry about one of the men in the men's room beating him or raping him.
The women's room is simply safer.
Now I must ask the reader....If this is such a big issue please point out the news reports of men being a constant menace in the ladies room.

Who is the next group of 'men in dresses' going to the ladies room? Gay males who are performers. Drag Queens. The local gay bar I like to frequent has the lady boys use the women's room. It is a matter of presentation. When they are dressed as males they go to the men's and when they are en femme they use the ladies.
What nefarious deeds are those gay men up to in the ladies room anyways?

Next in our men in dresses subsection of the populace are full time transgender women and non/op transsexuals who would take great offense to being called men. It is only the fact that they have a penis that identifies them as male. Indeed they are women who for whatever personal reasons have decided to not opt for genital surgery. These reasons are solely the choices of these women. It is not for anyone to second guess these women on their personal life or what is in their panties.

Next in our list is the pre-op transsexual woman. A woman may be pre-op for years before she has the resources to get surgery. Should we send her to the men's room? She looks like a woman, she talks like a woman, she conducts herself daily as a woman and she even thinks like a typical woman. Should her penis, which I assure you she is dreadfully ashamed of, keep her out of the ladies room?


It is simply not safe for an individual who looks like a female to go to the men's restroom. Men are much more likely to inflict violence or rape than women. Especially if they are dealing with a male they do not respect or makes them feel repressed homoerotic rage.

I understand that the real issue here is uneducated males and male aggression but we can not just throw vulnerable people to the proverbial lions while society gets its shit together.

I also understand that some women are uncomfortable with males in their space. But I ask my fellow females...when is the last time you heard of a man dressed as a woman harming a woman in a public ladies room? How many times in the last 10 years have you heard of this problem?

You haven't. Because it would be a death blow to the fragile ego of most straight males to be caught in a dress, let alone being caught committing a sex offense in a dress. The very few 'straight males' who do cross dress in public do so typically late at night and in select bars and establishments. Or they will be out and about with their wife at the mall 3 towns away. The vast majority of males who are in dress's are not males at all. The few that actually are men have not made an issue of themselves.

So who the hell are we really worried about in the ladies room I am left asking?



Anyways...
Why do I even care?

If the law becomes that a person with a penis must use the men's room then the automatic becomes that people with vagina's will have to use the ladies room.
This will be a bad idea.
This will force allot of MTF into men's rooms and the FTM into the men's room. Women are upset that a man is in their bathroom? Wait until they have FTM's in their restrooms. Now there really are men in the women's loo.

Also the final point and this one is personal.
Sevan is androgyn. Sevan is on testosterone. Sevan has no intentions to fully transition.
A few years from now Sevan is going to look like a mix of male and female. Beard and breasts. If we press this vagina's only in the women's room issue and it becomes law then Sevan is going to get flack from someone somewhere regardless of which bathroom ze uses. If someone thinks Sevan is male and ze is in the female bathroom then is ze going to have to prove to some cop ze has a vagina?
What if ze goes to the men's room and there is a dicks only policy and someone decides to press the issue and call the genital cops. This time not only must ze bare all ze will be getting a citation for using the wrong toilet.

I hope you have a good day and a better tomorrow.

Cynthia Lee

If a trans inclusive ENDA is not passed.....

...or trans issues are pealed out of the version of ENDA that does pass...

We need to flood capitol hill with activist transpeople. Use the bathrooms the conservative asshats say we should. Do it in large groups so we are safe. See how fast the lackeys of the legislators get on board when they have to fight for bathroom space with a bunch of transwomen.
Do the same to the ladies room. Fill the Capitol Hill womens bathrooms with transmen. Screw um. If they want to do us dirty we can fight back. We just need to brave up and do it. It won’t take too many upset powerful women to get the ball rolling!bThe people that oppose our rights say they are afraid of men in the women’s bathroom...Some of the most macho, hot and manly dudes I have ever seen are transmen. How many bearded men who are just doing what the bathroom fear crowds want will it take to make them end this madness?
And imagine the capitol hill staffers trying to find mirror space to wash up but can't because transwomen are doing their makeup there and talking about orchi's. But for squirm factor use the word castrate to refer to said ... etc I can imagine it wouldn't take too many incidents of serious discomfort amongst the powerful to get some results.
Doing it the Barney Frank, GLAAD, LGBT HRC way gets no results. The entire structure of an organization like that is designed to fail. If we get equal rights the gay elite are no longer 'oppressed' and no one will buy their books that describe the struggle they go through. If they are not an oppressed class who will listen to their lectures on the circuit? The old elite gay crowd has a vested interest in keeping us as second class citizens. Only through direct action that brings discomfort to the elite can we hope to win this struggle.
Time to change tactics. Hit em below the belt so to speak. We need to stage a toilet protest in D.C.!