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Showing posts with label TS/TG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TS/TG. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Body, Social and Mind dysphoria ~Sevan

Chart by @Cassiebebop
Have you ever looked in the mirror, or at a picture and instantly felt sad or dysphoric about how you perceive yourself? If you're trans*, of course you have!

I recently discovered this graphic online, and it makes SO MUCH SENSE! However, I believe that some things can't be so easily categorized, and that makes those things so much more powerful because of the potential for it to have an effect on the physical, social and mental self. For example, if you look in the mirror and are hit with negative feelings about yourself. You're seeing how you look physically, which may not line up with what you'd like to see. You may feel social pressure to present or appear differently and mentally because our minds can warp what we see in the mirror and focus on aspects of ourselves that don't give us the full picture.

To illustrate this point, I think back to early in Cyndi's transition. She would come out of the bedroom in the morning and look forlorn. I would ask her what was wrong and she would express feeling as though she looked very masculine, or as if "she was never going to pass". This very rarely lined up with what I saw in my wife, and it left me unsure which of us wasn't seeing the full truth. I suspect both of us honestly. She was seeing all her traits that she didn't like, and I generally focus on far more positive traits because I love her. My responses rarely helped her to feel less dysphoric though, as her feelings were reflecting her inner beliefs.

I know that I can get this way too. Though for me it's more about pictures than mirrors. (likely because I tend to avoid mirrors, mostly because of their dysphoria risk.) I try very hard to look at a picture of myself without judgement. Depending on the day and my mood at the time, I have varying success at being non-judgmental with myself.

So what can be done about this? How does one deal with this issue? I believe that everyone has their own way, and their own coping mechanisms that work for them. One thing that's worked for me is taking the focus off visual cues and focusing more on other senses. I like the way I smell, so I focus on that. I feel validated when I run my fingers across my facial hair stubble, or through my hair. When I am faced with a picture or myself in the mirror, I try to focus on things I do like so that I'm not focusing on negatives. For me that's my ears, shoulders, smile/lips and freckles.

What do you do when you're faced with dysphoria from the mirror or pictures?

Thursday, November 20, 2014

TDOR 2014


Today , November 20th is the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I have no lengthy post or depressing statistics. Those are available in plenty of  other places.

Light a candle and say a prayer for our lost brothers and sisters.
 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

An Analogy


When one first starts their transition in some fashion it seems to be like being a shipwreck survivor.
At first the story starts with a woman floating unseen on a tiny lifeboat at sea. {The life boat is the man suit, the sea is life in general.}
She is unseen, drifting along however the currents take her. Eventually she sees a chance at life. Perhaps it is a civilized island, a pocket of humanity, or she sees a ship.
For the TS person the island is the body of knowledge available to humanity regarding transsexuals. The ship is the visible transgender community. Some are on the ship as fellow castaway; others are on the boat looking for castaways.
If she spots land and heads for it, or spots the ship and hails it, she can make her way out of the life raft and to a safer situation.
The ship is headed to the island she needs to get to, so there is something of a bonus for our castaway.

Now the island is full of savages who mean well but have odd customs and rituals. {The savages are the doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, society at large and various other gatekeepers and lore keepers.}
The only thing our castaway wants is to join the islands culture. But to join the culture and become a productive member of society she must follow the protocols and rituals of the gatekeepers. Once she becomes part of society she becomes much more functional as a person and is no longer drifting out to sea.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

The TERF and TRANS* War Continues




Recently the war between transgender exclusionary radical feminists and transgender women has ratcheted up.

There have been doxxings and verbal violence flying around from both sides.

At heart of the battle is that TERF activists refuse to accept that TS women are indeed women and TS women asserting that they are indeed women.
Now one would think that such a disagreement would remain academic and reserved for the halls of philosophers but at the insistence of certain feminist voices {Trans* and TERF} this issue is worth going to war over.


TERF activists want spaces for women born women to remain transgender free. Now that seems a sticky subject. Ok, fine I wasn’t socialized as a female during my male days, but I sure as hell wasn’t treated like one of the boys. Sure go ahead and have your bonding experiences with other like minded women. Go to the Michigan Women’s Music Fest and your private group, get together activities. Not exactly very welcoming to all women…
But it isn’t that simple. TERF voices are calling trans* women men. That trans* women should not be allowed into any woman only space, like public restrooms and locker-rooms. They maintain that transgender females are somehow intrinsically dangerous to natal women and children. Some go as far as to say we rape women virtually; using our transformed bodies as a ticket into women’s spaces. The entire premise of their argument is very fear of rape mongering.


See now I have a problem. Trans* women are women. Period. Transgender females are much more likely to be attacked in a restroom. When we ask TERF Henie Penny’s to cite the evidence for the alleged dangers TS women pose, we are treated to a new round of circular logic and argument. No real evidence is presented.

I ask:
Would you really send me and my trans* sisters to the men’s facilities?!
Not only is it dangerous for trans* women to go to the men’s facilities, it also would be disruptive to society at large.

Let me say this loud and clear to any TERF reading this: Your ‘discomfort’ at seeing a TS woman does not trump a TS woman’s right to pee in peace. Your misplaced fears are not justification to send her into the men’s spaces. Transsexuals have the medical and psychological community’s on our side in these matters. The science is on the side of the trans* community. We are the gender we say we are.

 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Americas Got Transphobia!



So if you have not seen this little slice of transphobia from Americas Got Talent {AGT} then take a look. However be warned that it is transphobic.
Now am I really upset with Ray Jessel?

No. Not really. I understand that he is an elderly man who probably has no true understanding of what he has done. If we lived in a world where transphobia was non existent I am sure I would have laughed right along with the world at this joke song. Ray wasn't vicious and he wasn't mean, he was just singing a funny song. He is a nice enough elderly man and I feel I can give him a pass over this faux pas.
However....{there is always a however it seems}
The song was transphobic and uncalled for in polite society. The judges, Howard Stern, Heidi Klume, Mel B and Howie Mandel, should have recognized that the song would be problematic for AGT and disqualified him. The producers and directors of AGT should have known that the trans* community would be upset and not aired this segment. There are hundreds of auditions that are not shown during the show which could have served as a better time filler.
Yet here we are again telling a major network to police themselves on the transphobia. Come on AGT people, I know that someone in the company should have known better. Listen to that voice next time! 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Sheila Jeffreys Strikes Again: or, How a Cisgender person decided Trans* lives are her property to evaluate.



Ms. Jeffreys' a long time denouncer of trans* women has struck again with her newest book, "Gender Hurts: A Feminist Analysis of the Politics of Transgenderism".


My first feelings on this matter are: How the hell does she feel entitled to critically analyze the politics of “transgenderism”, why does she keep railing against transsexual women, why does she feel she has any currency in the topic? {Transgenderism?!! WTF is that?}


She has forced her way into the discussion of trans* lives and bodies for a long time. Trans* women have been dealing with her telling the world we are vile for a long time. It is getting to the point with her that she is making her money on the backs of transgender lives and this is unjust. She rails against us and says vile things, then writes a book and makes money from our suffering?! NO!! If she was any sort of decent human she would donate every cent of the proceeds from that book to charity. Preferably a trans* one, but we all know that isn’t going to happen.
When she isn’t writing about “transgenderism” and instead is focusing in on real women’s/womyn’s issues she is smart and articulate. She proposes things to contemplate on that take some tough work. You will check your privilege at the door and think deep when you read her works. She is a true feminist and she is respected in many circles.
However that respect is then transferred to a topic she is not qualified to speak on and many feminists take her every word as gospel. This really harms TS women when such a prominent figure in the feminist world takes such a hard and vile stance on them. Transgender people of all stripes are a marginalized community and we really do not need prominent public figures making our lives more difficult.  

To get a little idea of the Ms. Jeffreys’ opinion on the matter let us turn to a wiki section on her views on trans* people:




{Jeffreys has received attention for her views on transgenderism, transsexualism and gender reassignment. In an interview, Bindel explains that Jeffreys believes transsexual surgery "is an extension of the beauty industry offering cosmetic solutions to deeper rooted problems" and that in a society without gender this would be unnecessary.[5] Jeffreys has presented these views in various forums. In a 1997 article in the Journal of Lesbian Studies, for example, Jeffreys contended that "transsexualism should be seen as a violation of human rights." Jeffreys also argued that "the vast majority of transsexuals still subscribe to the traditional stereotype of women" and that by transitioning medically and socially, trans women are "constructing a conservative fantasy of what women should be. They are inventing an essence of womanhood which is deeply insulting and restrictive."[


Jeffreys' opinions on these topics have been challenged by transgender activists. Roz Kaveney, a trans woman and critic of Jeffreys, wrote in The Guardian that Sheila Jeffreys and radical feminists who share her views are "acting like a cult." Kaveney compared Jeffreys' desire to ban transsexual surgery to the Catholic Church's desire to ban abortion, arguing that both proposals bear negative "implications for all women." Finally, Kaveney criticized Jeffreys' and her supporters for alleged "anti-intellectualism, emphasis on innate knowledge, fetishisation of tiny ideological differences, heresy hunting, conspiracy theories, rhetorical use of images of disgust, talk of stabs in the back and romantic apocalypticism."} 


Ms. Jeffreys has stood against the entire idea that gender in some ways may be innate. She clings to this notion like a religious fanatic clings to their outdated beliefs.
We need only look to the case of
David Reimer to see that there is indeed something innate to gender.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer
 Admitting that there may be something to the entire idea of gender being innate does not take away from humanity.

I think that the fear that some of the clingers on of outdated ideals is that, in admitting that there are innate gendered differences, this will in some way invalidate a century of hard work by feminists. That is not a realistic fear. The ideal that all people are entitled to equal treatment will not go away. The fact that patriarchy oppresses women will not become untrue if gender may be innate.  The need for legislation to protect women and give them a fair shake will not go away with such a truth.
All it is saying is that there is something special and unique to being male or female that we have not yet pinned down.
Ms. Jefferys’,
I know that you must know that there is something about women that men do not have. There is a special something that other women recognize in other women. When we see each other there is the knowing smile and beaming of eyes, recognition of one woman to another that says, ‘I recognize my sister’.  


There is nothing wrong with saying that the sexes are different in some ways. No difference justifies patriarchy or oppression.

Back to her book:
From the book description on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Gender-Hurts-Feminist-Analysis-Transgenderism/dp/0415539404
{It is only recently that transgenderism has been accepted as a disorder for which treatment is available. In the 1990s, a political movement of transgender activism coalesced to campaign for transgender rights. Considerable social, political and legal changes are occurring in response and there is increasing acceptance by governments and many other organisations and actors of the legitimacy of these rights.
This provocative and controversial book explores the consequences of these changes and offers a feminist perspective on the ideology and practice of transgenderism, which the author sees as harmful. It explores the effects of transgenderism on the lesbian and gay community, the partners of people who transgender, children who are identified as transgender and the people who transgender
themselves, and argues that these are negative. In doing so the book contends that the phenomenon is based upon sex stereotyping, referred to as 'gender' – a conservative ideology that forms the foundation for women's subordination. Gender Hurts argues for the abolition of ‘gender’, which would remove the rationale for transgenderism.



This book will be of interest to scholars and students of political science, feminism and feminist theory and gender studies.}




Ms. Jeffreys seeks to some way abolish gender and “transgenderism” which she calls a human rights violation.
Well that is very presumptuous of her. I am a transgender person and my human rights were not violated. I put the hormones in my body, not someone else. I begged the doctors to help me with my medical needs.
They agreed because they KNOW that transsexuals who do not transition kill themselves in high numbers. It has been reported that upwards of 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide. That is just the percentage of us who are still alive to report. The suicide rates of trans* people is sky high. No amount of criticism of policy will change the fact that trans* people who do not get treatment have a high mortality rate.
It has been shown that transition is the only cure for gender dysphoria. Until Ms. Jeffreys finds a cure for ‘transgender ideation’ that equals or exceeds the survival/success rate of current best practices, she should not be calling for the abolition of the treatment. If we did things her way then trans* people would never have the option to transition and we would wallow in misery.

Also, transgender people who live true to self report overwhelmingly that they are more content with life post transition. They go from depressed and unable to be productive in society, to productive members of society. That alone should be reason enough to just let us live in peace without feminist leaders labeling us as a sickness symptom of society.

So I have yet to read this book and the price tag associated with it is a little steep for my pocketbook. I will eventually get my hands on a second hand copy. I suspect that there will be nothing of new substance offered from her previous writings.

Have a great day,


Cynthia Lee

Thursday, June 12, 2014

PRIDE Spokane 2014 in 2 days

In two days we will have PRIDE in Spokane. Our annual event dedicated to all things queer has been both work and fun for me for the last 5 years.
But this year is a bit different. This year I will walk in with fear of my peers.
Why?


The recent online wars over unacceptable trans* slurs between gay men and transsexual women has already spilled over at PRIDE in Los Angeles. In private spaces and here on this blog women have shared stories with me that describe negative behavior.
Trans* women have always reported being treated as less than at various PRIDE events.
These stories float through the community and as a result a large number of TS folks refuse to participate.
Which hastens the eventual split of LGB and T I see on the horizon.
Now I am not particularly thrilled that it is coming to it. Not at all. Just I feel I have read the tea leaves so to speak and they say the LGBT is going to go the way of OutServe-SLDN.


Back to PRIDE.
I know trans* people locally who will not go to this years PRIDE due to years of reported abuse and the recent on-line abuse of trans* women. I know a much larger number of trans* people across the nation who will not participate in their local PRIDE due to these issues.
Now there will be trans* people at the various PRIDE events this year and well into the future.
Trans* have been associated in the common with gay. It is a very wrong association but it is what it is.


Just because you see trans* people at your local PRIDE event does not mean that the T is on board with the LGB. It is not a signal that all is well.
When you go to PRIDE this year, look for the old guard T people and see how few of us are there. The newbie with the bright eyes and full of passion for the greater cause is nothing of an indication of how the T feel about the LGB at this time. That is called shiny bright newbie syndrome and it wears off fast.
Look to the social war weary eyes of the few old guard trans* people for the real answer. The guarded conversations with formerly gung ho human rights warriors may be a hint of wear our hearts are at.


Now I am a firm believer in community and working together, but I also understand human nature. Sometimes you have to tear down and re-build. As it stands we have a completely shaky structure. I understand those who are madly trying to shore up the structure. If you get the right braces in place you might just make things solid enough to withstand the test of time. I get that. But I do not think the building can ever be saved at this point.
A complete tear down and re-build is in order. Then we can get back to work as a community. Until then we just have a clusterfuck and no one likes a clusterfuck.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

The Fight for the T

Gay and lesbian voters got what they wanted. They have the right to marry and the right to serve in the military. Now that these vital human rights have been fulfilled, LGB folks are taking their free time and donation dollars and going away.
Yet the battles are not finished. Transgender people still have a number of issues they want to be addressed. Transgender people have long been told we would have to wait for the main issues to be resolved then transgender issues would be the next forefront issue.
How are we going to fight for the T when the LGB average Joe and Jane has moved on to their normal lives?
Now I understand there is a cadre of old guard who will stick it out and be very hurt by these recriminations, and I understand that hurt. You folks do put in the work. But where are your friends and allies that worked so hard for the right to love and serve?
The fight for the T is just now starting. If we do not have solid backing from our allies we will fail.


If we are going to keep the alliance it needs to be:
TBGL not LGBT

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Defending slurs can only rip us apart.

Lately I have been hearing more calls for dissolution of the LGBT than usual from TS women. The thing that is different this time around is that I am hearing this call from women who were staunch defenders of the alliance.

The fuel of this call for the T to divorce the LGB is on the surface a small issue; we want a few words relegated to the heap of slurs not acceptable in polite company. We do not want words that have a history of use as slurs to be used. Our collective request has been belittled by an army of fans of the ever popular RuPaul who has become the standard bearer of those who say they wish to reclaim or own some of these words (Tranny in this case) seen as slurs. On every comment section of every article about the issue TS women are being attacked and belittled at every turn. Mostly we are being attacked by gay men who seem to have no true argument and some trans* folks who do not want energy wasted on this battle.
Now to be honest this issue is not even on the radar of most LGBT types. Not every one of us follows the gay press. But those who are involved have made it clear that TS women have no right to complain or check RuPaul. We are being told that because RuPaul is such the advocate we should shut up. I call bullshit! RuPaul is not being an advocate when he says he is going to continue to use Tranny. TS women are calling for this to stop!

Is it asking the community to much when we ask that slurs synonymous with trans* woman should not be used? Changing your language and maybe how you think of us is a small request. We have not asked for something that will cost society money or lives or even any honor or dignity. In fact we are offering the LGB and the rest of society an opportunity to show that they do support and respect the T. We are offering an opportunity to display honor and raise the dignity of trans* folks.

Please join the right side of history. At every turn in our history the side of inclusion and proper decorum has won. There is no reason to think that the defenders of transphobic slurs will win this culture war.
So it stands to reason that those of you who support RuPaul in this issue are indeed standing on the wrong side of history.

Friday, May 23, 2014

RuPaul needs to change his tune.

RuPaul is not a proper spokesman for the community. However it is what it is...He is famous and in the spotlight.

There is enough overlap of TS and Drag that we can not just wholesale say that drag is not under the TG umbrella. I know a number of girls who got started with drag and then came out as women and completely transitioned. There are national level awareness semi famous drag performers who have transitioned yet maintain their financial ties to the drag community.

Drag Queens sometimes are TS women. TS women are sometimes "drag queens".

So with that we have RuPaul saying his 2centavos which is complicating the message we are trying to get across.
So the next question is simple: how do we exert the pressure on him to alter his tone?
He is on the wrong side of this issue.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Spokane Trans* People documents ~Sevan

Hey all!
So I'm the facilitator of my local trans* support/social group. I think I've mentioned that a time or four. ;) So in prep for Pride we've been creating many documents for us to share, as well as our own version of the Trans* flag! I'd love to see our hard work shared and used to educate and bring people together.

Here is a PDF brochure that's aimed at educating allies.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to MtF identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to FtM identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to Genderqueer/Non-binary identities.
Here is a PDF hand out that's a glossary of terms for transgender concepts.

Last but most certainly not least...here's our version of the trans* flag.

From top to bottom the colors represent MtF (Blue, to pink) Non binary identities represented by the purple and white stripe, and FtM (pink to blue)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Cross Dressers in Women's Spaces

One of the issues I have with separatism is the almost pathological screaming and insistence that TS women are nothing like a cross dresser.


Now I will grant you that one if we go on the assumption that all men who cross dress are men. However, not all cross-dressing men are men. Many of them are women who have not yet come to terms with their gender. Many of them actually know what is really going on with their need to cross dress and use cross-dressing as a mechanism of relief from the pain. I know because I used to do it when I was living a man’s life. Cross-dressing, sometimes in public was a way to affirm to self “I am a woman!” It afforded me a little respite from the constant noise in my head demanding I drop the façade and transition. In the end, the coping mechanism failed and I could not cross-dress any more as it brought greater pain than relief. However, that is another story…

The point I am making is that there are many women out there living men’s lives that cross dress in the safety of their homes with their wives and girlfriends or the safety of another town many miles away from where they live.

Now personally pre-transition I never went to women’s places like dressing rooms and bathrooms back in my cross dressing days. However, that was due to my own insecurities and fears. There are some girls who are brave enough to go out and be seen at daytime, and to use women’s facilities, I was not one of them but they are out there. Chances are she is going to be in clothes that are not the right style for her and she will be wearing her makeup all wrong and excessive, thus she is going to stick out like a sore thumb. If you run into this girl, do not disdain her. She needs help, not hatred and disrespect. Chances are you are done with your transition and have no need to look back but you do know information that could save this woman’s life. Point her in the direction of a support group for TS/TG people. Give her a cosmetic tip or two during small talk. Let her know she is not alone.

Some cross dressers are men and some are women who have not yet transitioned.
I understand that some of these men who cross dress in public are totally doing it so they can go home and masturbate to the fantasy. However, we do not know that any particular cross dresser is doing it for a thrill or for relief from a very real and deadly medical issue. We cannot know the motives of any particular person. As long as the cross dresser is not making a nuisance publicly, let’s give him a pass and keep our eye on him.
He might not be a 'he' at all, but a 'she' in a very delicate and dangerous part of her life. The outings where she goes out in public, testing the waters so to speak, are vital to her development as a woman. I certainly do not want to be a catalyst to a closeted woman deciding suicide is the best option.

It was not so long ago I was a ‘cross-dresser’ and I remember how I felt and what went through my head when I was cross-dressing.
If just one TS woman had taken the time to pull me aside and gently talk to me for a few minutes I could have transitioned much sooner.

Hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Factions in the T community

There are 2 dominant groups in the T community with a few smaller groups.

The two largest groups are those who support the Transgender umbrella and those Transsexual women who oppose the entire concept. (Separatists)

The other groups have varying degrees of opinion on the topic and are not the focus of this essay.

Tran’s separatists feel that the gender non-conforming crowd is somehow ruining TS ability to get laws that protect them and access to surgeries. The entire idea that someone might confuse these women with a man in a dress is unbearable. I understand that reaction. The idea that someone would consider me a man raises my hackles. I have gone through allot of effort to be recognized as the woman I am.

However, I know that no matter what I do there will be bigots and haters that will consider me a man. Not even SRS counts to those bigots who believe that what we are born with defines us. No amount of surgery and hormones make a bit of a difference to these folks the second your birth sex is revealed.

The idea that someone might consider me a cross dresser or a fetishist is rather off putting and I will be as brave as to say, it down right pisses me off.

But…Is it the fault of a cross dresser or a drag queen or some other gender variant individual that bigots will consider me (or you) a man, (even if I was passing up until the moment I was outted or clocked)? No. The actions of another person do not reflect on me. It is the bigots failing. It is not the failing of some theoretical gender bender.

If gods forbid someday I, or one of you, should be bashed by a bigot for being ‘a man in a dress’ the bigot is not going to ask for a carry letter to confirm a transsexual diagnosis. That piece of paper in my (or your) purse will do not one blessed thing to save me (or you) from a bigot. A bigot does not differentiate between a TS and a CD. To a bigot we are all the same. In fact to a bigot being TS is probably even worse, as we ‘cut it off’ (rolls eyes), which hits these men in an irrational castration fear. A proper diagnosis and carry letter will never protect you from a bigot. That letter confirming your diagnosis is only good to save you from the discrimination of those good people who know they should know better.

The TG umbrella was forged by bigots when you think of it. It was the reaction of the victims to the bigots that forged the TG umbrella. If you have an issue with the umbrella and want it dismantled, you play into the hands of our enemies. United we stand divided we fall. Instead, join in and help dismantle the foundations of bigotry.



hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I should be silenced.

I hate it when I am attacked and belittled by those who do not agree with me.
I have NEVER made a personal attack on anyone in the TS/TG argument.
I have argued the points and stood my ground but I have never made it personal.
There have been cases where some others have made it personal and have attacked me. I am not going to link anything to demonstrate. The main attaker is in my opinion likely from an abusive family where verbal assualt and social attacks were comon place.

The saddest part to me is that I ussed to really like the person who hates me.

Do I say things that I regret on occasion?
Yes.
I am human, I am prone to sticking my foot in my mouth. I also have been known to change my opinion and modify my beliefs, thereby making something I have said in the past of non consequence.
And sometimes I will talk allot of shit just too simply piss someone off because I know it pushes someones buttons.

I do cringe when someone takes the time to quote me but I own my shit.
However, I do not like it when I get lied about, words put in my mouth and outright lies posted about me and directly quoting me when I said nothing.

Like I said in the past, just wait, I will say something stupid. You do not have too lie about me just to make me look bad.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I can't win.

One of the trans support sites I frequent has been loosing members due to the transgender/transsexual word war.
I am not without blame. I have been more than willing to dive into the fray and partake of the gift of battle. (a definate hold over from my man indoctrination) I have opinions and I feel that I should have the right to shoot off my mouth just as much as the average person.
However,it seems that even when I keep it civil those who are not part of the conflict are getting emotionaly hurt and taking great offence to the fact that there is a fight going on in there midst.

I can not be part of this fight anymore. At least for now. I am mainly involved in the trans comunity to help those girls who I conect with and help them come too terms with their gender. Help them transition. I didn't become involved with the trans comunity to be political. This has happened but it was not my original purpose. My main purpose was at first too just survive. I have done that and I stayed in the comunity to pay it forward.

I can't assist anyone transition if I am caught up in a semantics war that is driving those who are more easily hurt away from the comunity I wish too serve.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

bathroom tactics

I have said this before a number of times but I think I shall say it again.

First I want to direct your attention the Zoe Brains recent blog entry.

http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2011/05/collect-set.html

If you didn't look it is about how the people who equate trans women to predator men keep recycling the same video of a man going into the women's room right after a little girl does. The old saw that gender variant people are no different than a pedophile keeps coming up time and time again.

Anyways....
I left a response to her post that I shall recycle here....

"The only way I can see defeating the bathroom bills is to show up to the public debates in large groups and use the bathrooms of our births. If a bunch of lawmakers, lobbyists and citizens are subjected to trans women in the men's room and trans men in the women's room they would become very uncomfortable. They have power to make that discomfort go away with laws. (see where this is going?)
If we take up the men's room with girl talk and female primping and communication while these males are there they will be much more likely to pass a law that makes this discomfort go away. The same with the women's room with trans men using the toilets like urinals and smelling up the place with testosterone smells, the female law makers and citizens will be seriously put out by this and will insist that their comfort be addressed.
They want to talk about men in the women's room? Demonstrate too them it doesn't work the way they want it too no matter what they do.
Only by changing tactics can we hope to win the bathroom war."

I do not mean just debates about gender protection laws or closed minded laws of exclusion. I am talking everywhere a congressman goes pee he should have a hoard of trans women using his toilets. Target his aides. Do it in large groups. Stay safe. If they want to portray us as a bathroom menace show them they are not thinking this through. If they wish to make it mandatory for trans women to use the men's room remind them it works both ways. Who really thinks the average man of transsexual history belongs in the ladies toilets? I don't think that a pack of FTM body builders would be truly welcome in a local city hall women's toilet. But by the bigots rules they would legally require it.

Make them think beyond the now. Beyond their narrow prejudice.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Word wars and the casualties that result.

Yesterday we had a girl at one of the forums I frequent almost delete her account and facebook.
What triggered this girl?

Seems she stumbled into a hotbed of vipers. Those who participate in the TS/TG word wars.
As one of these vipers who participate in the word wars I felt rather bad and immediately shot her off a private message expressing my sorrow and extending any apologies if it was something I had said.
Turns out it wasn't anything I did or said. It was others who had triggered her.

She is young and very recently out and at the beginning of her transition. She is just still figuring things out and where she fits into this world. Then she stumbles into arguments over gold star transsexuals and men in dress's.
Yeah not good.

I will admit that the factions I see are very polarized over things that we shouldn't be polarized over.

I said it before and i will say it again.
A basher will not differentiate between a gold star (passing privilege does not protect against being outed) or a cross dresser. He will beat you into a pulp if he can. He does not see a woman or a guy having a lark out and about town. He sees a pervert that needs to be made to pay. To the basher, anyone who transgresses what he sees as societies rules, is fair game. Fair game for whatever form of punishment the basher sees fit. Weather it be public ridicule or outright homicide, all of us who are different are fair game.


I understand that there are women who do not want to be equated to men in dress's. That is understandable. But we are equated to men in dress's in the eyes of those who hate us all.
It will take a long time to change society. Especially with so few numbers as we currently have.
Meanwhile we need to band together with as many people as possible. Those who are othered by society are our natural allies. The entire LGBT/T should be treated with difference and respect by anyone who fits into that group. We need each other. Regardless of the differences and personal issue we may have with each other we need each other to get this society to move forward. No one small sliver of society can get the job done on it's own.

Anyways....
If we can somehow band together and stop the infighting maybe we can avoid the casualties. Luckily this time around it was meerly a flesh wound and our young peer seems no worse for the wear. But what if she had deleted her accounts? Without the support group she has reached out too she very well could have detransitoned as a result. I am pretty sure we all know how dangerous detransition is. Detransition often equals death.