Choosing testosterone ~Sevan

The bigender girl by Anibunny

This post comes with all the normal warnings about this being my experience and only my experience and of course, I don't speak for anyone but myself.

In today's episode, I attempt to explain what motivated me to start HRT testosterone. We'll see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense to anyone but me.

Around October of 2009 I discovered the language surrounding non-binary identities. Before that, I didn't even know that anything outside of male/female binary existed at all. Cyndi had come out just a month before as trans feminine and I was looking for spouse support online. What I found instead was a section for "androgynes". That was such a HUGE "ah-ha moment" for me. Then came the few months of trying to figure out what to do with that information. I struggled with concerns about being accepted, being seen as a "freak" should I choose any transition action.

I was (and still am) adamant that I am not male and had huge concerns about being perceived male. Due to that, I was quite sure that testosterone wasn't going to be for me. I looked for transitional paths to follow, what worked for other genderqueer/non-binary people but struggled to find much information at all. I didn't know what I needed, but I was pretty sure that what I was doing wasn't working. I had a very hour glass shape and large breasts and ass. These features made it near impossible to dress androgynously. I also didn't like many of the styles that were considered androgynous. It just wasn't me. I like skirts and tshirts, and I'm still genderqueer when dressing that way. I tried to bind but found it extremely uncomfortable and unsuccessful. Binding seemed to make me more aware of my chest, not less. As a result, I rarely if ever wore a binder.

I planned to have a breast reduction and knew that it was gender based for me. I thought I'd be able to bind more once I had a smaller chest, which may well have been true but I found I just didn't need to bind. I was ok with my breasts after surgery. (That was a whole process, it wasn't just waking up from anesthesia and being ok. But I don't want to get into that tangent.)

My main support network was a group of transsexual women online. There was a great deal of talk about hormones and how people felt on them. The great sense of peace they experienced sounded wonderful. I started to think that maybe testosterone might be what I needed in order to find that mental peace. My mental state was unraveling from dysphoria. Knowing what was wrong, but not being able to do anything about it was a pain that was terrible. I looked everywhere for information about what testosterone might do. I found a few genderqueer people who had gone on T for short time and had success with it to get a more masculine appearance, but that wasn't what I wanted or needed. My search was wholly mental. I didn't hear anyone talk about that aspect of their transition with T.

Prior to Cyndi starting to transition medically she was prescribed T. The doctors said she had low T (go figure...) and could do well and have more energy on testosterone. She had some left over when she went off T and started estrogen therapy. It was so tempting, just sitting there on the shelf.

Finally, one day in early February I'd had enough. I was forming suicide plans and they made too much sense. Testosterone, with potential side effects were far better than suicide. I went and got the gel and started T. I thought perhaps it would prove silly, and not be worth it. All that hype, surly for nothing.

I looked through my journal and found this quote from when I first started T:

"Finally got dress and out the door headed for work. In the car I felt....almost hyper. Actually rather happy. I'm rarely happy on my way to work. Time to think means time to be depressed. But today I just bounced down the road singing along with my Ipod....having a very peppy drive. Huh.

Does this mean I'm a confirmed FtM now? I don't think so. Still me. Same person I was yesterday. Though it does seem that my body responds well to testosterone. So far. And that's all that means."

I had convinced myself that with a low dose of T I wouldn't see any physical changes, but would only experience the mental peace that I needed. That, was not true at all! I absolutely experienced physical changes. My voice lowered quickly, my emotions shifted, my dysphoria lessened significantly. My face structure shifted in ways I can't really express.

Here is a link to an article that does a wonderful job of talking about low dose T in more general ways: Click here to see Neutrois Nonsense

Coming out pt 4 Hearing it ~Sevan

We've shared personal stories in part one and two; we've talked about steps involved in coming out in part three; now it's time to talk about how to handle someone coming out to you.

Similarly to our “part 3”, there’s no way I can speak to every individual circumstance. Though I’m hoping I can keep it broad enough to cover as many experiences as possible.

In no way is everyone who’s trans* like me. So they’re not necessarily going to respond how I would…keep that in mind as well.

When someone comes out as trans* to you, it may come as a complete shock. Many trans* people try very hard to fit within binary ideals. Being “big strong men, who don’t cry, might have military background, etc etc” or being “very feminine, girly, home-maker, etc” (though this is less likely thanks to the wide acceptance of “what is feminine”)

If you take one thing from this blog post; please hear this: They did not do this to hurt you. In fact, this isn’t about you at all. They love you, might look up to you, respect you and genuinely want to keep a relationship with you. Otherwise, they wouldn't come out at all; they’d just leave your life.

They may have already come out as gay or lesbian, or may be married and/or have children. You may have long history with this person; might be their spouse or parent! Everything you already know about this person could be in direct opposition to what they’re now telling you about themselves. You may want to argue with them, and try to tell them how you see them. Try to avoid this, if possible.

For transsexual adults; they have usually done everything in their power to keep from transitioning. So asking if there’s something more that could be done to keep from transitioning will only be met with the answer “no” So keep from asking that, if you can.

Hopefully, the person who is coming out to you has read my last post, or similar information about coming out. They've thought long and hard about how you might react. Fear of you reacting poorly could have had a hand in them not coming out much sooner. Parents, friends, family and spouses are very important to trans* people. As much so as anyone else.

I don’t want to put too much emphasis on “what not to do”; because I don’t prefer to be negative. Whether your friend or loved one sits you down for a face to face, a phone conversation or sends you a letter/email; they have thought through this; and chose the method that made them most comfortable, and hopefully thought through the method you would respond best to.

When I came out to my parents; I did so via email. I feared this wouldn't be the method they’d respond best to; but it was what I needed to fully express myself, explain myself, and include some links that I thought might be helpful. I wanted to be able to express myself fully and correctly. I thought they would likely respond best to a face to face, but when I thought over that at great length…I felt there was no way I’d be able to hold my own in that conversation and get all of my thoughts out. As my anxiety rises, my ability to express clearly dwindles. This was a situation where I needed to be perfectly clear. That’s why I chose email.

For my sisters, I did find a way to sit down face to face. There was far less anxiety for me in talking to my sisters than talking to my parents. So each person in my life was unique, and the way I approached them was unique.

What you say first will set the tone for the future. Watch your words carefully. If you can’t think of a kind response; it is ok to say “This is a lot to take it. I need some time to process before I talk about this again.”

That might be rough for your friend or loved one to take in, but it’ll go far better than what could quickly escalate. Emotions run high when coming out. Of course if you’re supportive and happy for your friend or loved one, share that information right away!

Learn all that you can about what it is to be transgender. Find support for yourself if you need it through PFLAG meetings or transgender support groups that might be open to SOFFAs (Significant Others, Friends, Families, and Allies) Find books on the topic, documentaries or local educational presentations. Seek out a therapist to talk to about your feelings if you need support. Your trans* loved one is dealing with quite a bit, and it would be a huge stress relief to have you educate yourself and not rely on them solely for your education about all things trans*.

Be honest about your boundaries. If your friend or loved one is talking about nothing but transgender topics or transition; you may need to gently say,

“I need some space from that topic. Can we have a “transition free day/group of days?”

Those around the trans* person often go through a process of transition themselves. New name, new pronoun, new look. It can be a lot to take in. Be honest about your needs, but if it’s support you need, find online venues; such as susan.org or Trans Family Spouses yahoo group. Both are in the side bar. There is also SOFFA* Support online: http://soffa.transmentors.org/

Or local support groups or therapists; sometimes it’s good just to be able to talk to someone openly. Try to avoid going to your trans* loved one to provide you support.

If you are unable or unwilling to be there for your loved one through their transition, it is best to be honest about that. While I hope that relationships can always be maintained, that’s not always possible. I believe its best not to drag such things out. It just elongates pain. That’s not to say that you should throw your relationship away at the first sign of difficulty; but sometimes it really is best for all people involved to just, walk away. Only you can know if you’re at that point.

Above all, be honest about your feelings and your process. Let your friend or loved one know where you’re at. There’s nothing worse than being in the dark about where we stand. Fearing that we’re going to lose someone from our lives; when really that person just needs some support and some space; is a pretty terrible feeling. They've been honest with you about who they are, and where they’re at. 

Coming out trans* pt 3 Saying it ~Sevan

Cyndi and I have both told our personal stories around coming out. Now comes the most difficult post in our four part series. Suggestions and thoughts about the process of coming out. 

Let me first say that there is no possible way I can account for every unique situation...so I'm going to do my best to keep this broad. There's no one right way for every person to come out. There just isn't. Since my experience is primarily with transsexuals/transitioning…I think my focus will be there. Not because I’m trying to ignore the rest of the umbrella, but because I want my advice to be sound, and based on personal experience/ knowledge.

The first thing I would suggest...is to understand what transgender identity is for you. Those who you come out to will want to know if you intend to transition, what that might look like for you, what surgeries or hormones you might undergo, etc. While "I don't know" is a perfectly reasonable response, it tends to upset those you're coming out to. So either be prepared for an afterthought to your "I don't know" or prepare an alternative. 

*Nothing* is ever set in stone. Ever. Especially not transition! It's a path, it's a journey, and minds can change along the way. Prepping those around you for these potential changes is highly advisable. You may decide early on that SRS is required and very necessary, but along the way may decide that it's either not desired, needed or affordable. You may be against top surgery (especially trans woman, much more so than trans men) but find that hormones don't offer what you wanted/needed; and suddenly top surgery appears very likely. 

Some, (such as families) can have a very hard time with transition, and they may need support as well. Knowing where to direct them can help them to help you. Such as:

• Local support groups for spouses of trans* people, or groups that welcome in spouses. (our trans* support group is open to spouses as well, for example.) 
• Susan's significant others online forum (parents are also welcome)
• Laura's Playground Partners/SOs section of their online forum
• Find a local PFLAG chapter

There are also books on the topic, but I'm much more for personal conversation than reading myself. I'm sure you can find some books if the person you're coming out to is a reader. 

While many would say “Be prepared to lose everyone and everything” to transition…I prefer to be a little more hopeful. I think when we go into conversations with a defeatist attitude…we end up losing. We have already gone through the loss in our own heads and I do agree that one should be prepared for every eventuality; that includes success and support!! That *is* a very possible outcome!

I think that coming out takes some soul searching as preparation. Many don’t do this. I know I didn’t…I waited until I was backed into the wall, mid transition; with my voice already changing…that’s when I came out to my parents. It should come as no surprise that that didn’t go very well! I left them out. I expected them to be unhappy, and they met that expectation.

Take some time to remember what it was like when you *very first* discovered you were trans*. What did that feel like? What did you want to hear? What would help you through that? I know for many (if not most) that this is a painful discovery. Of course we want unconditional love and support. I know some people who have gotten that reaction; and what a blessing! For most though; just like for us trans* people, it’s a process. It will take some time for those you’ve come out to; to come around.

Boundaries are a difficult thing for majority of trans* people. (It’s even mentioned in the Standards of Care!) If you are working with a qualified gender therapist; coming out should definitely be a topic to go over with them. As you will likely be the only trans* person your friend/family will know…they are pretty likely to bring their feelings and process to you. (or if they’re like my parents, the exact opposite and bring nothing to you.) They need to find other places to express their feelings about your transition so that the process doesn’t damage the relationship. This is where strong boundaries come in. Being able to encourage them to take those feelings to a support group, or trans* mentor (if your area has such a program) online forum…somewhere. Especially if they’re having negative feelings they need to process.

With that, accept some boundaries that your friends/family needs to set. I know that early on (heck…often times; still!!) Cyndi and I talked about transition pretty much to the exclusion of all else. That’s taxing for many people. There might need to be some boundaries set around that. I think that compromise can be healthy and contribute to and strengthen relationships. Some compromises are unreasonable and would be harmful. Your therapist can help with these unique and important issues.

Transition can be lonely…but it doesn’t need to be. Support, friendship and family is important to anybody but definitely important for trans* people navigating in an often times cruel world.

Coming out Part 2 ~ Cynthia Lee

Coming out take 2 ~ Cynthia Lee


My coming out as Trans* to my friends and family was met with a collective ho-hum. I got many people who reacted in a way that indicated they were not surprised. One of my friends said to me “I knew this about you for years, I was afraid you didn’t know”. Another friend said, “That makes sense. This explains a lot.” Another friend asked, “What took you so long?”

I was rather stunned by these reactions. I thought I had done a fine and dandy job of being manly and macho. I really thought that I had been successfully portraying a man to the world. Now that I have had time to reflect on my life pre transition I see clear as can be that I was dropping hints to my true gender my entire life. All my life I was actually playing the part of a man and doing it very poorly it turns out. I had expected them to attempt to defend my ‘manhood’ and try to convince me I was nuts. I expected the same treatment that most transsexuals deal with. Rejection and transphobia were what I expected but I was given love instead.

In the end I have lost no one to my coming out. All of my family and friends accept me as Cynthia. This was anti-climatic. I had prepared for ultimate rejection and being challenged, or dissuaded from my transition. I had not prepared for being accepted and loved unconditionally. It was very wonderful and awesome that I have kept my friends and family, but I had not prepared myself for this outcome. Person after person that I came out to were ok with me transitioning. In a way, it was a tad aggravating. What do you mean my portrayal of ‘man’ was so lousy that no one was buying it!??! I was so sure of the excellent job of role-playing ‘man’ that when I discovered that it was not excellent it kinda miffed me a bit. Nevertheless, it should come as no surprise. Women are not men and they do a lousy job of being men full time. Sure, some women can play the part of a man for a while, but no woman can live as a man 24/7 and not let her guard down and let the woman inside out on occasion. Turns out that I was showing the inner woman, I was letting her out on a daily basis.

Therefore, my gentle reader I want to boil it down to this: You have no idea if your friends and family will accept you or reject you until the moment of truth. It is worth the chance you take and it just might end with acceptance.

Coming out trans* pt 1. It's personal ~Sevan

This is a tough topic for me to cover because of how vast and individual and unique each person, and each coming out is. It's going to vary depending on what state (with what rights) you're in. How old you when you start coming out you are; will play a role. Plus many other things will come into play when we talk about coming out. 

I think I’ll be splitting this up into a few different entries because otherwise this large topic will be either far too long, or not properly covered. So I want to start first with my personal experience with coming out.

I was asked once which was easier; coming out as lesbian or coming out as trans*. (I've done both, and that had come up in this conversation.) For *me* it was easier coming out as trans*, and while difficult, I feel that there are many things that helped my coming out to be successful when I compare the two experiences. 

When I came out as lesbian I was in church, all my friends, all my music...were church. All my social events were through the church. So when i came out as lesbian (back in 2000) and was given the choice to "apologize to the whole of the church for your sins against the church, and move out of the apartment I lived in with my spouse to save me from "sin" and "temptation. Or, I could leave. I chose to leave. I felt, and still feel; that I had committed no sin. Especially against the church. Once I left, all of my Christian music brought pain of being kicked out of the church. All of my friends who were part of the church immediately stopped being friends with me. All my social events were gone. I was alone. I had not sought LGBT support because I didn't expect to need it...and once I did need it, I didn't know where to turn. 

Shortly after, I lost my job because of the stress of being proselytized at work by my co-workers, being shunned by co-workers. My father once showed up at work screaming at me about my "fruity life". My partner showed up at my work suicidal a few times, and needed me. 

My anxiety was through the roof.

At only 18 years old and in my first apartment; having a strained relationship with my parents, not able to see my sisters, friendless and jobless...yea; that was REALLY tough. 

After coming out lesbian to my parents our relationship was severed. For many years after  I had no contact with them. Almost never saw them. We patched things up after I left my partner of three years but under the patches were some scars left behind. I have had a very difficult time being open about most personal issues and pieces of my life.

When I came out as trans* I chose carefully who I would tell. How I would tell them. I had the support of my local LGBT center, and trans* support group. I had online support and read how others had come out, what had worked, what hadn't. 

As 28 I had a much better idea of how people might possibly respond. I knew myself much better; I knew what I needed in order to give voice to what was going on in my life. Has it gone well? Not really. My parents haven’t accepted my gender variance and don’t recognize my new name. I didn’t have that many friends, but those that I did have I was very very close and honest with, and it was easy to tell them. Luckily for me, they took it in stride and it wasn’t that big of a deal.

With my parents I sent them an email. That may not work for everyone, but I was fearful that if I tried to tell them over the phone, or in person, that I would stutter, or stumble over my words, or not say the hard things and not tell my full truth. Writing an email allowed me to do all that. I was able to save it, edit it, think about it, re-word things and include links that might help them to understand from sources outside myself.

When a person comes out (as anything, trans*, lesbian, bi, or gay) they often are exposing something they’ve kept secret. Something so integral about themselves, something they’ve buried and hidden; sometimes for many many years. To expose that piece of themselves, to bring it into the light when it has been buried for so long is to show you – the person we’re coming out to; a core part of ourselves that has no protection around it anymore. We had to tear that protection away in order to bring it to light. It’s altogether freeing, scary, amazing, and terrifying.

At the start of coming out, this piece of ourselves (at least, for me it was this way) it was as a new born baby. It is naked, exposed, and without much defense. Something that is so important, but has remained a carefully kept secret.

When someone close to me rejects this about me, they have struck out at that new born baby who is lacking any defense. That hurts in a huge way.

In the next few blog entries Cyndi and I will be talking more about coming out. More personal stories, more information for the trans* person who wishes to come out, and some information for those who might have someone come out to them. How to behave in that moment, what things you might consider saying, and how to follow up with that. This is a huge topic as I said at the top. Hope you’ll stay tuned. 

3 months already!? Holy cow. ~Sevan

Oh my my my. How time flies. I have been on Testosterone for three months now. Wow. I've done a whole heck of alot of growing, thinking, musing, and looking back during these three months.

I've remembered times of strife that didn't make any sense in the moment, and I've been able to piece the puzzle together now that I understand my gender identity. I've remembered painful times of extreme dysphoria and angst, and I know now those times for what they were. Goodness I thought I was beyond bonkers...before I had the word "androgyn" that all important, very powerful word. To know that there are others who experience the world in a similar way as myself; through similar eyes!! It's brought me such a peace that I can't describe to you. Only that...it's like the sun streaming through a large window....bright, and warm...but not hot. That perfect day.

The body and the mind continue to astound me. I had in my logical mind a picture of what it would take to bring this peace. I thought it might take just a small dose of testosterone. Not enough to change my outside, only enough to bring the peace I was so desperate for. I was sure, utterly convinced that i could find it...in just a small, little dose of testosterone. I was in for the shock of my life when I found out....nope. *My* body needs more than just a little bit. A little dab, will NOT do. My doctor gave me the freedom to explore, armed with information and a limit so I didn't over do it, but within his guidelines I was free to find what worked for me. Seems that what works for me is a full on "transition" dose of testosterone. My voice is dropping weekly, my beard is already growing in (though patchy and pathetic...but still firm enough to need shaving weekly.) my mind has become far more logical and less emotional, my sense of smell has changed and become more acute, my sense of taste is sharper, my muscles are growing and are more ropey and firm.

I was talking to Cynthia about all of these changes. Musing...particularly on the point of smell. She'd mentioned that her sense of smell was more acute a few months ago. I wondered how could this be? How can she have a stronger sense of smell on estrogen, and I'm experiencing a stronger sense of smell on testosterone. She expressed that perhaps it wasn't the hormone itself that caused the shift; but the right hormone running the right body. The mind and body working together harmoniously, instead of being at odds.

This week I did the hardest thing I've yet done in all this transitional mess. I came out to my parents. I thought about...next to nothing BUT the email I was going to write them...for about a week straight. Finally on Friday I sat down and wrote it out. When I'm nervous I have a tendency to "over-share" so I wanted to make sure I said the right thing, the truthful thing and not too much blathering. It was by shear force of will that I was even able to hit the "send" button. I physically shook nervously thinking "what have I just done!?" I had done the right thing. That's what.

Last weekend they were up visiting (they live 8 hours away) and they noticed my voice. While I wasn't TRYING to hide it from them, I wasn't trying to lie about who I was...I just wasn't really ready to come out yet either. However...my voice gave me away. I didn't honestly expect my voice to shift that much...I already had a pretty low voice to begin with and naively I thought to myself "Well...it's not going to happen over night! I've got plenty of time to sort this out, and figure out a way to come out." I thought I had close to six months to a full year before any changes would be obvious! Not three months! Ah well. Three months it is.

I haven't gotten a response from them yet. That's ok though. I'd much rather they take their time, gather their thoughts and come to me level headed instead of going with their first thoughts. (whatever that might look like.)

After telling my parents I changed my name on facebook! Now that may not seem like such a huge deal....but seeing as nearly everyone who's online is also on facebook...I feel kind of like I've hung a flag outside my door!! (in a manner of speaking...) It was so freeing!

Speaking my truth

Cyndi has been trying to encourage me to write here more often as this is “our” family’s tale…I’ve just not really had anything to say from a “spouse” frame of mine.

I suppose that’s because there has been alot going on internally for me. There are many layers involved in what I want to say which makes it difficult. Its very hard to explain something that is 4D with depth and many angles; in a 1D plane. Which is…this typed out retelling.

For as long as I can remember…I’ve been “weird”. I was a shy awkward child. Lanky and tall, very curious, asked a great number of questions no one had the answer to and wasn’t particularly *good* or *great* at anything.

As I entered adulthood at age 18 I didn’t transition very well from living with my parents; to living on my own. I was vastly unprepared and quickly became depressed and anxious. I sought out mental health in order to find direction and relief.

I remember depression being explained to me as a “chemical imbalance” and I clung to that idea. It just had a ringing of truth for me. All I needed to do was figure out which chemical was out of balance…and fix it! Simple…right? Not so much.,

Fast forward a few years to about age 21. Life circumstances had changed quite a bit in a matter of three years. I went to the doctor complaining of fatigue and weight gain. The doctor wanted to check my thyroid. She explained the hormones that the thyroid controls and wondered if it might be off kilter. Hmmm…maybe THIS was the chemical imbalance I’d been wondering about.

It turned out there is nothing wrong with my thyroid though over the years I’ve had each of my doctors want to check it.

In another couple of years I decided I wanted to finally attempt college. I took many classes focused on the body and how it worked. Anatomy, physiology and pathology; each a few times over. I loved the classes. Especially when we’d discuss the chemical level of the body. It fascinated me in a way I couldn’t really understand, though I didn’t really try to understand it…simply thought I’d finally found something that interested me! One day in my physiology class we went over the hormones that control the female menstrual cycle. It was a very enlightening class. Shortly there after I went off my birth control to attempt a more natural “fertility charting” method.

It became clear rather quickly that my body wasn’t going to do anything that resembled a “cycle”. So back to the doctor to try and figure out this NEW hormonal imbalance. I was met with shrugging of shoulders mainly. No one seemed to understand why it was so important to me.

I’m a big believer in everything being interconnected. I just had this feeling that this “hormonal imbalance” that was somewhere within me was the snowball cause of EVERYTHING else. My energy, my on going depression…possible even more effects than I knew.

Last year I hit a really bad spot mentally. My depression increased to near debilitating levels. If I did have as flexible of a job as I had…I would have lost my position, to be sure. I re-entered therapy with the intention of doing some work on issues from childhood and early adulthood. My therapist urged me to go on medication; if only temporarily to alleviate my depression. I just couldn’t agree to that though. It didn’t feel right for me. Not to mention through out the years I’ve tried a great number of anti-depressants with little to no relief. I wasn’t particularly interested in doing that again.

Therapy was…frustrating for me. No matter how much I talked, was open, was honest and expressive I just couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of my depression. I couldn’t lessen the load.

Fast forward finally to this September (09). Cyndi could no longer continue to live life in the “man suit”. She needed to transition. I supported her fully in this endeavor. It was not new to me, we’d discussed *her* transitioning a great number of times through the years of our relationship. There was something holding me back from being fully present and supportive however. There was a frantic feeling and I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was all internal. All I could think about was my own gender. I questioned it. Alot. However after asking a simple question “do you feel like a guy?”

and answering that question “well..no. Not really…”

You would think such an answer to such a question would alleviate questions and fears over one’s gender! It didn’t however. My angst and discomfort in my own skin became unbearable.

I started searching for answers all over the web. I found the gender identity”Androgyn”. Upon finding it…just finding that word…arose such fear, panic, yet also…a rightness.

Androgyn as a gender identity should not be confused with androgynous dress and style. While many people who are androgyns will dress androgynously (stands to reason..lol) not all person’s who dress androgynously have a gender identity of androgyn.

I started dressing in a more androgynous manner and found short lived relief from that. My clothes did not make nor break my inner feeling of self. After more back and forth than I care to recount here…I made the choice to start testosterone.

Finally I feel I have found the piece of the puzzle that’s been missing this whole time. I have found where my “chemical imbalance” lied. I was missing testosterone in a body and mind that needed it.

So that’s why I’ve been so quiet. I’m not only the spouse of someone who’s transitioning. I’m also transitioning myself. My voice has started to drop from the testosterone. My body hasn’t changed otherwise. I feel that peace that I’ve been craving.

I speak more about my transition in this video: Click here

This has gotten quite long already…so I’ll leave it here.