I am most definitly in my second go 'round of puberty. There's no denying it now. There's also no turning back!
My voice has been deepening for weeks now but the cracks are getting more difficult to control and gosh are they ever embarressing! I can't seem to sing without losing control of my voice, if I get excited, talk too fast or am really animated; my voice makes an ass of me. Every morning (or so it seems) it's dropped more. I had a low voice to start with so I was pretty sure it wouldn't go much further down. HA! Little did I know.
My face has always had hair on it. I used to wax my upper lip and chin but have switched out to shaving. So now my lower lip and chin constantly feel like sand paper. Very very fine grit sand paper...granted..but sand paper none the less! Cynthia keeps catching me running my fingers along my chin. As excited as I am...and for as long as I've wanted a beard...now that it's here it's kinda scary!
My muscles are getting ropier and I'm becoming stronger. I'm finding it easier to work out longer and harder. My stamina is definitly increased; which could be due to my focus on working out!
Some of the changes I'm feeling I can't even put into words. However it wasn't my desire to come here and just make a list of changes; let's just say...EVERYTHING has changed.
The sum of all the parts have left me feeling awkward and unsure of myself. For as much as I want people to notice that I look or sound different; I also dread that! I fear it as much as I want it. Oh how fun. Seems that's par for the course for a person going through puberty.
On the flip side of that awkwardness I'm finding new found confidence. Now if I could just remember to show it more often!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
It's official.... ~Sevan
Posted by Sevan at 1:29 PM
Labels: androgyn, transitioning
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