My choice in name

One of the few wonderful things for a transperson is that we get to choose our own names. Names can be for a multitude of reasons so I will not elaborate on the motivation of others and will only seek to provide my motivation in this matter.

My first name is Cynthia. To the distaste of some of my very close family. I find that it IS my name regardless of what I thought. Cynthia was the name I chose at about 14. This was my greatest secret. That I had a female identity. The name would leave my conscience for years then come back. Stronger each time. An aware mind can not sustain living a lie. My name is Cynthia. Cynthia was the name of one of my first girlfriends. She was really the kind of chick I wanted to be at the time. Not the best choice of names I thought but it stuck. Then I looked up what Cynthia means and I am very pleased…..

From Wiki:

Cynthia is a feminine personal name of Greek origin: Κυνθία, Kynthía, "from Mount Cynthus" on Delos island. It can be abbreviated as Cindy.

Cynthia was originally an epithet of the Greek goddess of the moon, Artemis, who was sometimes called "Cynthia" because, according to legend, the goddess was born on Mount Cynthus.

From UrbanDictionary

Cynthia's are often shy people, but once your get to know a Cynthia they are one of the most loyal and friendly type of people you would ever be lucky enough to meet. Cynthia's love to talk but are often quiet to listen to their friend's problems. Cynthia's do not like sports, and are often too worried about life once but once you get to know a Cynthia you will see little by little that they let loose and have fun. Cynthia' s are often known by there sad looking eyes and that gloomy look on there face, often they have dark hair and a pale dead like face because they are after all named after the goddess of the moon, and like the moon you will soon see their pale beauty and mysterious personalty, know as the invisible girl, a Cynthia can be a great leader,but is always ready to be a team player

So it is my name. I like it and I also like Cindy which I readily respond to. Which is a relief as I worried I wouldn’t respond to my name due to years of being conditioned to be Pete.

Next my second name Patricia. I chose this name to honor my stepmother Pat. She put up with allot of shit from my family and saw my father to his grave and is his widow. She worked hard and provided well with little recourses. I learned how to be frugal watching her as I grew up. Patricia is a solid and capable woman who had her shit together most of the time. Also the name provides the nickname Pattie which sounds very much like Petey. So my friends and family have an option that sounds similar to my original name that will also get me to respond.

From Wiki

Patricia, in English pronounced /pəˈtrɪʃə/, is a common female given name of Latin origin. It is derived from the Latin word patrician, meaning "noble".

Then my last name. Lee-Bussell. I like that women get a hyphenated last name. As a married woman I should have one so I chose the last name of Lee as my ‘maiden name’. Lee is a two part reason. First my mothers name is Leigh which sounds exactly like Lee. I never really liked the way her name is spelled but I like the name. In her honor I chose to be Lee in last name. There is another reason I chose Lee. On April 9, 1865, at the house of Wilmer McLean in the village of Appomattox Courthouse General Lee surrendered to Grant and effectively ended the American civil war. General Grant allowed Lee to surrender in honor. Inside my mind has been a civil war. Peter against Cynthia. The war within is over. There is peace over a well scared battlefield. As Peter is Cynthia the war could not maintain for as Lincoln said; a house divided against itself can not stand. So within myself Peter is Lee and Cynthia was Grant. So why chose Lee? Because Peter is Cynthia Cynthia had to surender to self and remember that Grant allowed Lee to surrender honorably. So I chose Lee for these reasons.

From Thinkbabynames

The girl's name Lee \ lee\, also used as boy's name Lee, is pronounced lee. It is of Old English origin, and its meaning is "meadow or pasture". Lee is often chosen as a middle name.

Cynthia Lee