Thursday, January 7, 2010

Coming out of the closet

Coming out transsexual was the most difficult thing anyone ever had to do. No weight can be near as weighty and no task more onerous. To be able to speak the words I feel like I was born the wrong sex is a social miracle. At least for the late in life transsexual. We have years invested into a male persona (or female in the case of female to male late in life transitioners.) and have built friendships and loves on the foundation of a big fat lie. To admit you are transsexual is to admit that lie. Not easy to do. Many of us commit suicide rather than fight this fight for one more minute. Rather suicide because the pain of a life lived in denial is too great a challenge.

Luckily I have been so far able to narrowly escape that fate. I have myself heard the sirens call of suicide. The longing for the hell to stop. However it is my fear of reincarnation that keeps me here and working to fix myself. I am positive that if I do die before transition is complete I will have to come back and do it all again. Without the promise of being born in a free nation.

Lets leave that alone and move on.

I hate the word transsexual, yet I freely use it as there is no other term that says it as well as transsexual. The word has sexual in it and that makes it seem sordid in the minds of some. Trust me the LAST thing most transsexuals want is to have sex. Our bodies are deformed. (except for the post op) Yet in the porno’s they make us look glam and desirable. We are used as whores by an industry that does little to help other than provide fast cash. Sure you will see plenty of gorgeous she-males performing every imaginable act of carnality. But trust me no matter how well she smiles that woman is sad and just desperately wants her sex change operation and will do anything it takes to fund her transition. Do not delude yourself into thinking that it is glamorous or cool to be a transsexual.

I much prefer the term neo-woman and neo-man. It is a much nicer way of saying a woman or a man is just that but with a unique medical history.

There are 2 theories of what causes transsexualism. The first is the mental illness model. I can accept that. Just keep in mind that even if it is a mental derangement to date the only treatment that has any effect is transition to the gender of association.

The other is that it is an intersex condition. Parts of the brain become cross gender. That is to say a neo-woman has parts of her male brain that are feminized enough to cause the person to experience enough social trauma that the only relief is to transition to a woman. (or man in the case of FTM)

In both scenarios the only successful treatment is transition.

If you doubt the usefulness of sex change then please by all means provide a treatment that is medically sound and we will flock to your door with money in hand.