Where'd ya get that name and how do I say it?

When I first became aware of transgender identity issues within myself I took on the name Kyle. I never imagined actually ever *using* the name....so I didn't put much thought or consideration into it. No one was ever going to know, because I was never going to come out, and never going to transition so there wasn't much need to put value or thought into the name.

A number of years later (Sept 2009-ish) I started thinking more and more about names in general, and how would I feel about the name Kyle. At the time I was operating under the belief that there were only two choices when it came to gender. "Man" or "Woman". I didn't really feel comfortable in my skin as a woman so I was thinking about transitioning. I wasn't so sure I would be comfortable as a man either....but I chalked that up to self doubt and fear. So I started looking at names. I fell in love with the name Evan. It just...it had such a sweet sound and warms my heart. I'd found my name. I even picked a middle name that I felt fit perfectly with it!

However...the fact still remains that I'm not a man. In my search I discovered androgyny and it fit! *Eureka!* I told Cynthia about the name "game" I was playing and was thinking about keeping Evan as an androgynous name. I've met women and men both named Evan...

I was kind of sad to give up my birth name entirely. It's served me well, I became a married person with that name, my mother cherished it and lovingly bestowed it upon me...Sara. If you look up the meaning of the name you'll find "Sara. A princess" and while the idea makes me blush a little to admit...it's me. I was named after the book "A little princess" and the character Sara is just like me when I was a child. Or rather... I was just like her. One thing that does bother me about the name Sara is just how common it is! All through out my childhood I was surrounded by at least one other Sara(h). In my circle of friends in high school there were two other Sara's. In my core classes Freshman year there were three other Sara's! That gets old...let me say.

One night Cynthia was playing with words as she's known to do and she combined Sara and Evan in a few different forms...one of those was Sevan. It stuck. It was perfect! I thought...it's unique, it's special, no one else is going to have this name!! YES! It's mine!! Oddly enough the number 7 has actually always been my favorite number. As a child playing sports 7 was my uniform number through out the years. I find that funny now.

On a lark I decided to google "Sevan"....little did I know..it IS a real name! It's of Armenian origin and it means "life giving sweet water". The name comes from Lake Sevan in Armenia. Humorously I am clearly NOT Armenian! I'm a blond haired, blue eyed, fair skinned European mutt.

So just how is it pronounced? I don't know how anyone else pronounces it. Seeing as I thought we'd made it up....I prefer for it to be pronounced like this. Say the name "Evan" now put an "S" in front of it. "Sevan". See..kind of sounds like the number 7, but it's got that slightly soft "a" in there.

It's not legally mine yet... which is growing frustrating for me, but I decided to change my name legally this summer when I switch jobs. That's not that far off. I can wait.