Cross Dressers in Women's Spaces

One of the issues I have with separatism is the almost pathological screaming and insistence that TS women are nothing like a cross dresser.


Now I will grant you that one if we go on the assumption that all men who cross dress are men. However, not all cross-dressing men are men. Many of them are women who have not yet come to terms with their gender. Many of them actually know what is really going on with their need to cross dress and use cross-dressing as a mechanism of relief from the pain. I know because I used to do it when I was living a man’s life. Cross-dressing, sometimes in public was a way to affirm to self “I am a woman!” It afforded me a little respite from the constant noise in my head demanding I drop the façade and transition. In the end, the coping mechanism failed and I could not cross-dress any more as it brought greater pain than relief. However, that is another story…

The point I am making is that there are many women out there living men’s lives that cross dress in the safety of their homes with their wives and girlfriends or the safety of another town many miles away from where they live.

Now personally pre-transition I never went to women’s places like dressing rooms and bathrooms back in my cross dressing days. However, that was due to my own insecurities and fears. There are some girls who are brave enough to go out and be seen at daytime, and to use women’s facilities, I was not one of them but they are out there. Chances are she is going to be in clothes that are not the right style for her and she will be wearing her makeup all wrong and excessive, thus she is going to stick out like a sore thumb. If you run into this girl, do not disdain her. She needs help, not hatred and disrespect. Chances are you are done with your transition and have no need to look back but you do know information that could save this woman’s life. Point her in the direction of a support group for TS/TG people. Give her a cosmetic tip or two during small talk. Let her know she is not alone.

Some cross dressers are men and some are women who have not yet transitioned.
I understand that some of these men who cross dress in public are totally doing it so they can go home and masturbate to the fantasy. However, we do not know that any particular cross dresser is doing it for a thrill or for relief from a very real and deadly medical issue. We cannot know the motives of any particular person. As long as the cross dresser is not making a nuisance publicly, let’s give him a pass and keep our eye on him.
He might not be a 'he' at all, but a 'she' in a very delicate and dangerous part of her life. The outings where she goes out in public, testing the waters so to speak, are vital to her development as a woman. I certainly do not want to be a catalyst to a closeted woman deciding suicide is the best option.

It was not so long ago I was a ‘cross-dresser’ and I remember how I felt and what went through my head when I was cross-dressing.
If just one TS woman had taken the time to pull me aside and gently talk to me for a few minutes I could have transitioned much sooner.

Hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee