My first go at transition.

I tried to transition at 22. However, I ran into a very bad psychiatrist who told me I was trying to live out a sexual fetish and I was only going to ruin my life. He told me I was sick and that the only way to cure myself was to stop dressing en femme and to get married and have children.


I was 22. I believed every word he told me. After all he was the doctor and there were transsexual women out there who had to go to doctors to transition. Obviously, he could tell the difference between a transsexual and a pervert. He said I was a pervert.

I did not know that not all doctors where not on the same page. I did not know that there are different schools of thought and differing medical opinions on Trans people.

It failed of course.

I eventually transitioned at 41.

Turns out, the doctor was wrong. I was not a pervert or a deviant. I was just a young woman who crossed paths with a very bad doctor.

That doctor ruined my life. I was so young and impressionable. I took what he said to heart.

I am happy to be were I am today, but I can not help to wonder what my life would have been like if I had been able to transition as a young woman.