Friday, October 8, 2010

One year HRT.

One year HRT. Wow.
I defiantly should have done this 25 years ago. …hindsight 20/20
No sense crying over spilt milk. Yet I do just that plenty often enough.
I have grown more in the last year as a spiritual and social creature than all the past years before it combined. Great and small insights into the condition of human life have seemed like a daily occurrence. Every day seemingly offering a chance at deep insight…..
HRT has been nice to me. Lately most folks see the girl when they see me. That man is becoming more and more the figment of my imagination. I know I am that person that was Peter but it almost seems it is a practice in role playing to summons that man. I didn’t think I would be so disassociated with the male incarnation a year ago. I seem to have played the part of the man I like. But I am not the mask known as Peter I am a woman known as Cynthia Lee.
My brain has rewired 4 or 5 times due to the HRT over the last year. Each time the changes are deeper and more complete. Each time I have thought I couldn’t change anymore only to have more changes become apparent. I find myself anxiously looking forward to the next change with a taste of fear of the unknown.
My body is only recently shifting fat to where it should be, but not fast enough damn it. lol But I do have small boobs and a feminine face.
So anyways I am defiantly a woman. Regardless of my body config I am female. I always was, it just took me some time to be sure of it 100%. (The HRT pretty much removed all doubt on the 2nd week. :) )
To this day I am giddy when I get my HRT. I get silly happy when I get my shot ready every time. So I am pretty sure I am on the right path. 
The next year of HRT is what I am really looking forward to. I should be able to get an orchi within the 3-6 months if my cardiogist will take me off plavix…. **fingers crossed**
Anyways I have rambled on enough.
Have a wonderful day,
Cynthia Lee


Unknown said...

nyurble!! :) Here's to year one...and many many more.